Wednesday, June 24, 2009


I have to go to school today for meetings and clean up- no kids. But I am sitting on my couch in my living room procrastinating. I don't want to go. It wouldn't be so bad if I knew I'd be done early, but I have a dentist appt right down the street from school at 3, so I know I'll stay all day.

B is very tired and sleeping a lot. This is not different from any of her other treatments, but for some reason it has me all a-tizzy.

I continue to have bleeding and broke down and took an HPT this morning- negative, of course. I told III last night about the bleeding so he's prepared for tomorrow if, as I expect, the beta is negative.

When I went to bed last night, III put his arm around me and I put my head on his chest. "I hate everything right now," I told him. Then added "Except you." And he told me, "And except B-dog. And M-dog. And G (our neighbor). But we haven't seen G for a while." He's such a dork. :)

I wonder how much the weather is contributing. It's certainly not helping. It's gross and rainy out and has been for days.

I just want to cry all the time right now. I hate that I have to put on mascara and go out into the world and interact with other people.

This message is totally disjointed, but that's how my brain is right now.


Emily said...

I am so sorry about everything. It sucks. Thinking of you...

c by the sea said...

i'm feeling pretty blah and rainy myself. i'm thinking of you and hoping things turn out alright tomorrow and with B dog.