Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Procrastinating

I have to go to school today for meetings and clean up- no kids. But I am sitting on my couch in my living room procrastinating. I don't want to go. It wouldn't be so bad if I knew I'd be done early, but I have a dentist appt right down the street from school at 3, so I know I'll stay all day.

B is very tired and sleeping a lot. This is not different from any of her other treatments, but for some reason it has me all a-tizzy.

I continue to have bleeding and broke down and took an HPT this morning- negative, of course. I told III last night about the bleeding so he's prepared for tomorrow if, as I expect, the beta is negative.

When I went to bed last night, III put his arm around me and I put my head on his chest. "I hate everything right now," I told him. Then added "Except you." And he told me, "And except B-dog. And M-dog. And G (our neighbor). But we haven't seen G for a while." He's such a dork. :)

I wonder how much the weather is contributing. It's certainly not helping. It's gross and rainy out and has been for days.

I just want to cry all the time right now. I hate that I have to put on mascara and go out into the world and interact with other people.

This message is totally disjointed, but that's how my brain is right now.

2 comments:

Emily said...

I am so sorry about everything. It sucks. Thinking of you...

c by the sea said...

i'm feeling pretty blah and rainy myself. i'm thinking of you and hoping things turn out alright tomorrow and with B dog.