Sunday, March 29, 2009

Date night: It's a bust.

Last night, III and I had the date night I had been planning all week. It was a surprise for him- he knew we were having a date, but didn't know where we were going. I made reservations at a Greek restaurant I'd been wanting to try, and then got tickets to a 3-D showing of M.onsters vs. A.liens.

Dinner was pretty good and it was nice to sit and relax. The theater is inside of a home store (kind of weird...) and so as we were walking back to the theater, we passed a tv where one of the N C A A bball games was playing. He said "You have to pick up the tickets, right? I'm just going to watch for a minute..." I figured he'd meet me upstairs- turns out, he thought I was going to come back down for him.

I got in line after picking up the tickets, because it was already pretty long and I wanted to get good seats. Ten minutes goes by... fifteen... twenty... finally I see III walk in. I don't know if he could see me or not, but the line started moving- it was a wrap around line, so as I came to one end I called his name- and he gave me this look. It's one I have seen before and it makes my heart drop into my stomach. It's a hard look to explain, but it's basically like "WTF do you think you're doing?" I stood in line for twenty minutes while he watched basketball, and he couldn't even take the initiative to GET IN LINE where I could have at least passed him his ticket. So I had to get OUT of line, and go to him. I was SO PISSED I literally barely spoke to him for the rest of the night. Way to ruin a date... He knew I was mad, but didn't address it other than trying to hold my hand during the movie and kissing me on the forehead before we went to sleep. That's pretty typical of him- I'm usually the one who has to bring up whatever issues there are, though when I do he will talk about it. But it gets old!!!

This morning at breakfast (we always go out Sunday morning) he told me that he thought I was coming back out for him. (Not thrilled by this- why do I have to be the one to make the extra effort???) I told him that, while I was annoyed he took so long, what really pissed me off was the dirty look he gave me. He said "I didn't mean to give you a dirty look," and I told him it's something he does a lot. He wanted to know what the look was, but it's so hard to explain it. But it bothers me enough that I even clearly remember the first time it happened. Then I told him "Things have just felt so crappy between us lately and I feel like I'm the only one who's making any sort of effort!" He didn't really respond to that.

You can bet it's the last time I'm going to plan something like that for a while. I know work is frustrating for him right now, but I feel like he doesn't even see how I'm feeling about things- he's just totally wrapped up in his own stuff.

It's hard- I know there is only so much one person can control, but I'm trying to do my part to make things better and it feels like my efforts are just wated. I just feel like I'm giving a lot more support than I'm getting. :(

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I hope it gets better - I hate when I feel disconnected from Mr. M.

BTW, I appreciate your comments!