Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Bah humbug.

I started this anonymous blog to be able to express the ideas and feelings that I didn't feel comfortable, for whatever reason, expressing 'out loud' to people who I know IRL. Despite that, I was excited to find I had "followers" and regular readers. I'm always super excited when I get that email telling me I have a comment on my page.

The downside is that I do feel a little of the pressure of having an "audience". I wonder, do I come off as a complainer? Have I offended any of my "regulars" with a comment or belief that I have? Am I boring?

Lately I'm feeling like my readers must think I'm either super negative and crabby, or maybe even kind of schizophrenicy- a pissy post one day, my "roses" post the next, lilacs on Sunday, cranky again on Tuesday...

Regardless... I'm cranky again today. We have state testing in math. That means sitting with my (worst) class for 3 periods while they take the test for which I am to have prepared them, then teaching math (which they won't want to learn today after a full morning of math testing- but with this particular group, if I don't do something "real" they will be unbearable) for another 3 periods.

I'm also feeling like I'm in a real holding pattern with ttc. I'm not technically because I am in the beginning of a protocol. But this nightly BCP routine definitely has a "hurry up and wait" feel to it. It's five days before I even begin the Lu.pron and another week after that until I stop the BCP.

In the meantime I got one of those mass forwarded emails from a friend (she knows what we're dealing with, but I'm pretty sure she just sent it to all of her friends in her address book without really thinking about it...) with this story about a guy who took his aged mom out to dinner and then she died the next week. It's supposed to be one of those "appreciate your own mother while you can" emails, but it ends with the following:

Somebody said it takes about 6 weeks to get back
to normal after you've had a baby.... somebody
doesn't know that once you're a mother, 'normal' is history.
* * *
Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by
instinct... somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.
* * *
Somebody said being a mother is boring....
somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.
Somebody said if you're a' good' mother,
your child will 'turn out good'....
somebody thinks a child comes with
directions and a guarantee.
* * *
Somebody said you don't need an education to be a
mother.... somebody never helped a fourth grader
with his math.
* * *
Somebody said you can't love the second child as
much as you love the first.... somebody doesn't have two children.
* * *
Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother
is labor and delivery....
somebody never watched her 'baby' get on the bus
for the first day of kindergarten ...
or on a plane headed for military 'boot camp.'
* * *
Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her
child gets married....somebody doesn't know that
marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a
mother's heartstrings.
* * *
Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last
child leaves home....somebody never had
* * *
Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so
you don't need to tell her.... somebody isn't a

Yeah. Thanks for pointing that out, random email-forward philosopher. And, no, it doesn't help that you add the disclaimer:

Pass this along to all the 'mothers' in your life
And to everyone who ever had a mother. This isn't
just about being a mother; it's about appreciating
The people in your life while you have matter who that person is.

Gah. Screw you.

That definitely just rubbed me the wrong way.

So, while I'm at it, I'll ad the link to this video that has been floating around the IF blog community. It is certainly true about quite a few people (though not all). (And, might I ad, I know quite a few people who remain smug after labor and delivery.... Oh, and into middle school. I deal with them every day.)


Jess said...

I love your have good days and bad days but we all do! I had to AIMS test with my 4th hour class and they are the worst...I wanted to shoot myself, so I sympathize with you on that girl. My husband says that I am either happy (on cloud 9) or pissy as happy medium, lol. So maybe that is why I think your posts are fine! :)

I love this song! I posted it on my blog, but I didn’t know how to post it like you did, all I have is the link…how’d you do that, oh wise one? 

Hang in there…school year is almost over!

Jess said...

I just figured it out!

AJ48 said...

No pressure! You say what you want to say and we listen. We are here for you through thick and thin, through the good and the bad. :)

I know being on the BCP's is the worst!! The anticipation is horrible, but trust me the time does fly by...I just went through it all and now I am in my 10 day wait...UGH!!!

Good Luck this C!! I am praying for you!!

Jess said...

When I got the ultrasound, I was cd11 and he said they were small and I was about 7-10 days from ovulation. I'm hoping only a few mature. I wish he told me to come back closer to the time I O. Thanks for the feedback.

Anonymous said...

Your blog. Your space. Write what you want. That's what I say! I love reading your blog. I never really believe those blogs that are all happiness all the time. They don't seem real!

michelle said...

whoops that anonymous comment was from me.

Anonymous said...

I think you are strong, funny, brave and amazing.