I'm a professional worrier.

What a weird place 4 weeks is after a successful IVF. There are people who were "in the loop" and knew what we were going though who check in occasionally- we've shared with many of them our positive test results, along with our continuing wariness. There are plenty of people we're not planning to tell for at least another eight weeks... such a strange secret to be carrying around... can't they tell just by looking at my face?

Friends, even those who have had experience with (their own or family members') IVF cycles, are very optimistic. KB got us our first baby gift. (Tempting fate? I don't necessarily believe in that, but it's hard not to think of it... of course, it turns out she's had the gift for over eight months! She might be more excited than I am!)

My u/s is scheduled for September 4. I will be 6w1d. I realize this might be a little too early to see a h/b, but because of the holiday weekend, the next time I could go in was the 9th and with my school schedule starting the 8th it just wasn't really possible.

I'm a big time worrier. It's like, somehow I feel like if I worry about the worst case scenario, I'll somehow be better prepared.

Not long ago, I left Kirke (a fellow worrier) the following comment about worry.

A friend recommended a book to me a few years ago called "The Worry Cure." It was very interesting to read about the types of worry and the habits of worriers, because they fit me so well. For example, I tend to seek reassurance from people- DH, drs, friends- about the thins that worry me. The book explains exactly what happens to me: "Seeking reassurance does not work because you can always doubt the reassurance later." Yep. That's me.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to the part in the book that told me what to do about it. LOL

One piece of info that did help me with my worries, though, was that most worriers worry inaccurately. It told me "We are more likely to overestimate risk if we can easily recall examples of negative outcomes... when we search for imformation we are seldome objective...we almost never look for the most important information- how often does the predicted outcome not occur?...'Does this information reflect what is generally true, or does it accurately reflect your circumstances?'"

This doesn't STOP my worrying, but sometimes by reminding myself of it I can curb my worrying from getting out of hand.

As I said last week, I just feel like we know too much about this whole process now. Not only that, but I seem to know a lot of people (even outside of blogland) who have had a lot of issues with pregnancy. I have two friends who experienced pre.eclampsia (one lost the baby, the other has a preemie), a friend who has had repeated miscarriages, another who had a stillborn baby full term, a coworker who lost two babies from a triplet pregnancy... this weekend, III's partner's wife experienced a 6 week m/c.

While I know cramps are normal, I can't help questioning mine. How strong is "strong" cramping? If this morning I'm feeling it more on the right, could it be ectopic? I'm not having bleeding, but what if the fetus isn't growing properly? Worry, worry, worry, worry.

From the beginning of this process, I have worried about "chemical pregnancy" and miscarriage... I did some googling and found this chart.

Week of Gestation	Percentage Likelihood of Miscarriage
3-6	10% (after home urine test is positive at 14 days post ovulation when hCG levels reach 50-80)2
6-12	5% (or less if heartbeat heard)
2nd trimester	3% (considered stillbirth after 20 weeks)
3rd trimester	No longer considered miscarriage once fetus is beyond one pound (500 grams) around 24 weeks gestation. Stillbirth rate is 1%.

So I'm going to rewrite the chart to highlight for myself, based on the Worry Cure's theory, how often miscarriage doesn't occur.

Week of Gestation	Percentage Likelihood of NOT Miscarrying
3-6	90%
6-12	95%
2nd trimester	97%
3rd trimester	Livebirth rate is 99%.

Pretty good odds, huh? :)

Ten days to ultrasound...