Thursday, April 9, 2009

Oh, the ups and downs.

While not surprised, I was disappointed by my negative beta on Monday.

Yesterday, I was pleased to get my period. Since I knew I wasn't pregnant, I was glad to get it sooner rather than later to start a new cycle. I wasn't expecting it until Saturday, so it came a few days early. (But, because of the trigger, my LP was still 14+.)

Today, an old coworker was visiting from out of town. With him he brought the news that his wife is pregnant. Once again, happy for them, sad for me. They were married the summer after I was, and when they left town last summer they weren't yet "ready" for kids.

Why does it feel like everyone except me can get pregnant so easily? (I know it's not actually true, but often that is how it feels.) :-(

In other news, B-dog has treatment today. She's still doing well and this is her second to last round of chemo. Happy that she's almost done and still doing awesomely. Nervous that when she is done, we are that much closer to the lymphoma coming back. Not really a rational thought, since each day you are closer to everything that is going to happen, good and bad. And we don't know if the lymphoma will return in three weeks, three months, or three years... but the fear is there all the same. I continue to wonder what I will do without her and hate knowing that the day will come that I will be without her. (It even makes me a little dizzy to type that...) Is it healthy to be this attached to a pet???

No school tomorrow, so it's like Friday for me! I'm taking advantage of my day off to get some grooming done- the dogs are going to The Dog House for baths and teeth cleaning, and I'm off (NOT to The Dog House) to get my eyebrows waxed, and a mani-pedi. I'm also thinking of shopping for some house wares (our fancy, expensive mattress is too hard for my liking- I need one of those foam egg crate thingies...) and an Easter basket for III. I'm also looking forward to Sunday- KB and I are going to see Dirty Dancing on stage in the city!

Happy weekend!


Emily said...

Dirty Dancing??? How jealous am I? Very exciting. Glad your new cycle started!

Anonymous said...

happy weekend - I am sorry again that it was a bfn.

michelle said...

not being pregnant when you want to be can be so sad - sometimes just seeing a mom with a baby can cause all KINDS of wacky emotions in me......

....enjoy your weekend and big healthy woof to b-dog!

Caroline said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your BFN. I know how hard it is when other people get pregnant so easily. I am currently hibernating from the world because I just can't face pregnant women (or babies for that matter).
I'm glad to hear that your dog is doing well. Enjoy your shopping trip.

Frenchie said...

I'm sorry to hear bout the negative. Not that it will make you feel any better, but there is at least one other person who does not get pregnant easily: ME!!!! I know it feels like 'everybody' else does. I feel that way all the time. Even a slew of blogger friends have dropped pregnant lately.

Hope B-dog is with you for a long time. No I don't think it's crazy to be so attached. Especially when you are going through such a hard time in your life. Our pets are an endless source of unconditional love.

Have fun at the show!!