Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Maybe I'm a weirdo...

I've spent the last two days with little kids. Yesterday, KB and I went to her friend's house to hang out. M was there and KB's friend's 2 kids, who are 2.5 and 1. We played with the alphabet puzzle.

Today, KB and I took M to the Children's Museum. How fun! M loved it there. She's 2 years, 3 months and is really starting to become such a little person. She's talking so much. She knows who I am and knows my name. She's so smart. She figured out my i.Pod T.ouch in about ten seconds. I love her like she was related to me by blood. I guess it makes sense, since KB feels more like a sister to me than my own sister.

One would think that this sort of thing would be too hard for me. I don't know if I'm just weird. Or maybe I'm just not "there" yet. But I just... I love kids. I love to be around kids. I definitely have that pang in my chest: "I want one!" And it's really hard to watch the parents who do things that I feel are... not ideal. Judgemental, I know. I recognize it's hard to do day to day... but it's how I feel.

Anyway. I enjoyed my "baby time". It's so frustrating to be going through all of this infertility stuff, but when I bury my face in M's hair and kiss her neck, or when she walks up to me and grabs a hold of my hand and says "Come on, A!"... well, it's the next best thing.

4 comments:

kirke said...

That's the way I've always been too. People always think it is hard for me to be around babies and other kids, but it really never has been. I guess I never associate them with what I've gone through. I do agree though, it is very hard to watch less than stellar parents....that makes me frustrated.

michelle said...

I am exactly like you! I LOVE kids - even when at times it feels like my heart is being tugged at in a million ways.

No matter how it makes me feel I cannot imagine not being around kids at all because I can't have my own.

I am doing my first weekend solo babysitting with my niece this weekend - she is 18 months and I cannot wait - we have a blast when we are together.

Cece said...

When I first started all this IF crap, I babysat my 5 year old twin nieces... and we had a blast. We did the aquarium, the childerns museum and build a bear workshop! Of course I had a pang of 'I wish I had my own' - but it was fun nevertheless.

meinsideout said...

hey there - hugs and thanks