Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Maybe I'm a weirdo...

I've spent the last two days with little kids. Yesterday, KB and I went to her friend's house to hang out. M was there and KB's friend's 2 kids, who are 2.5 and 1. We played with the alphabet puzzle.

Today, KB and I took M to the Children's Museum. How fun! M loved it there. She's 2 years, 3 months and is really starting to become such a little person. She's talking so much. She knows who I am and knows my name. She's so smart. She figured out my i.Pod T.ouch in about ten seconds. I love her like she was related to me by blood. I guess it makes sense, since KB feels more like a sister to me than my own sister.

One would think that this sort of thing would be too hard for me. I don't know if I'm just weird. Or maybe I'm just not "there" yet. But I just... I love kids. I love to be around kids. I definitely have that pang in my chest: "I want one!" And it's really hard to watch the parents who do things that I feel are... not ideal. Judgemental, I know. I recognize it's hard to do day to day... but it's how I feel.

Anyway. I enjoyed my "baby time". It's so frustrating to be going through all of this infertility stuff, but when I bury my face in M's hair and kiss her neck, or when she walks up to me and grabs a hold of my hand and says "Come on, A!"... well, it's the next best thing.


kirke said...

That's the way I've always been too. People always think it is hard for me to be around babies and other kids, but it really never has been. I guess I never associate them with what I've gone through. I do agree though, it is very hard to watch less than stellar parents....that makes me frustrated.

michelle said...

I am exactly like you! I LOVE kids - even when at times it feels like my heart is being tugged at in a million ways.

No matter how it makes me feel I cannot imagine not being around kids at all because I can't have my own.

I am doing my first weekend solo babysitting with my niece this weekend - she is 18 months and I cannot wait - we have a blast when we are together.

Cece said...

When I first started all this IF crap, I babysat my 5 year old twin nieces... and we had a blast. We did the aquarium, the childerns museum and build a bear workshop! Of course I had a pang of 'I wish I had my own' - but it was fun nevertheless.

Anonymous said...

hey there - hugs and thanks