Secret blog.

This is my secret blog. I have a blog for my family and friends to read. I have a few blogs with friends to keep us exercising. But I find it interesting to read blogs where people are using it to express their feelings or even almost as therapy. I actually had a blog like that before to deal with a specific problem I was having trouble processing.... anyway. I thought I'd like to use that, but it's the type of thing that I didn't want anyone I know to be reading it- at least not while knowing it was me. :-)

So here I am.

I found out today that I am not pregnant. Again. Still. When my period starts, that will mark the beginning of month 16 of "trying". We did a medicated IUI in November and, since Christmas interfered with the timing of the IUI (just my luck) we did the medicated part, but then just had what my doctor called "relations" after the trigger. I think the trigger was too early (due to our travel) so I wasn't optimistic.

Unfortunately (or fortunately for her) a friend of mine has also been trying for the past three months and found out yesterday she is pregnant. Happy for her. Bummed for me. There also is the bitter (bitch) part of myself- last year, a month before she got married (and a year and a half after I had been married) she told a mutual friend that she hoped I didn't get pregnant before her. Nice. Well, she got her wish. And so, while I'm trying not be bitchy about it, knowing she made that comment makes it hard.

So that's all I have for now. I'm sure I'll be back soon!!! ;-)