Monday, May 3, 2010

I officially hate my life.

There will be no birthday babies for me.

Today's ultrasound- 7w1d- showed 2 embryos. One measuring 6w3d, the other 6w0d. One had no heartbeat. The other had a heartbeat of 66, which was down from 105 on Wednesday.

The doctor I saw was not my own. He said they'd bring me back on Thursday for a follow up and then schedule a D&C.

I had high betas. I had strong heartbeats five days ago.

Nothing makes sense.

I don't know where we're going to go from here.

22 comments:

Lara (NoodleGirl) said...

Oh no, I am so very sorry :(. I have been there myself, twice, and it is the worst feeling in the world. You walk in full of hope and walk out devastated. I hope DH was with you.

I know there's nothing more that I can say that will make you feel better right now. {{{HUGS}}}

"Jay" said...

Words cannot express how sorry I am. I hope somehow they can figure out why this is happening.
Thinking about you.

Katie said...

I am so, so, sorry for this. It doesn't make sense and it certainly isn't fair. Big, big hugs to you today.

Amy said...

I'm so, so, so sorry that you have been dealt this hand. For what it's worth, please know that I am thinking of you and your family now.

Dreams and False Alarms said...

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

Fran said...

I cannot f***ing believe this...I am so so sorry, this is cruel, come on life give us a damn break....

Sending you love, hugs and anything that can help, Fran

S said...

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how you must be feeling.

Thinking of you.

Kakunaa said...

I am so incredibly sorry. There is nothing fair about any of this. (((HUGS))) Sending you positive thoughts.

irrationalexuberance said...

I'm very sorry.

Anonymous said...

No, no, no, no!! I can't fucking believe this. I'm so, so sorry.

Sending all my love your way...

xoxo

-K

meinsideout said...

I am so sorry. I will be thinking of you.

m said...

Dammit. F*ck. Sh*t. I am so, so sorry to hear this news. It isn't fair. It isn't right. There are no explanations. And a simple "I'm sorry" feels so useless against the tidal wave of emotions I am guessing you're feeling right now. But still, I am, so, so sorry.

Marion said...

It is so unfair! I'm sorry...

Noelle said...

I'm so sorry. Life is cruel and I don't understand it.

c by the sea said...

i am so so sad for you right now. i am tearing up reading this. this is so not fair.

((HUGS))

Meg. said...

There are no words. "Sorry" can't even begin to say it.

Consoling *hugs* to you.

Heather said...

I'm so sorry for your losses. I wish I had some words that could provide you comfort. I'll be thinking of you.

Take care.

Jessica said...

I am so very sorry...praying for you. (((HUGS)))

sprogblogger said...

I am so very sorry. You're in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Wish there was something, anything I could say to comfort you. Thinking of you and III.
Jan

Sarah said...

Oh goddess, I am SO, SO very sorry. I dont know what to say, sweetie. You guys will be in my thoughts.

Hugs

Seed.Sprout.Swell said...

This just happened to me for the second time. I understand your pain. I have a D+C scheduled for Friday. Don't ever lose hope. I know how hard it is, but try to hold onto future possibilities. I am so sorry for both of us. Much love and strength to you.
rebecca