Obsessing

Tomorrow morning is my blood test. And I'm starting to obsess.

I considered testing this morning at home. It's III's bday today, so I thought what better gift than a positive test? Except... I didn't. I didn't want to deal with a negative (and then a possible 2nd in a row tomorrow). Plus, I'm not sure I would trust it. I'm afraid to get an early positive and then have it be a chemical pregnancy.

So anyway. The obsessing:

I just actually grabbed my boobs while sitting here at my desk. (To see if they were sore- they're not.) Luckily, no one was around or suddenly walked down the hallway past my doorway.

I am feeling crampy though. And I'm not expecting my period until Monday. Of course, with a history of IBS type symptoms, I may just have to poop.

I'm also tired, but what else is new? I'm always tired. Goes with the territory of not being super satisfied with my job. And the 4:45am wake up yesterday to take B-dog to the vet.

And (here's some TMI for you) I'm having lots of *ahem* discharge. CM as they call it on all the fertility boards. Nothing gross or stinky. Just more of it than I usually do. Which for some is a early pregnancy symptom, but isn't necessarily. It's only 12 days past what should have been my ovulation day, and, scientifically, one shouldn't start experiencing any pregnancy symptoms until one begins producing HCG.

Oh yeah, and since I took HCG to trigger ovulation there is always the chance that it is still in my system and tricking me.

I also had some bleeding- two days ago there was spotting. Those who frequent TTC message boards would cheer "Implantation bleeding!!!" Except I had bleeding in the week before my period for the last year or so. But this is the first time it's happened since I went on clomid.

So obviously there is a little niggling voice of hope there... I guess I'm in a "hope for the best, plan for the worst" scenario...

I guess I'll know one way or another tomorrow.... :-/