Monday, February 21, 2011

Sooooo cranky.

I have been super mopey and cranky the last few days.

I feel unattractive (which I've been trying to counter with copious amounts of eyeliner), unproductive, and unlikable. III has seemed kind of cranky too (though his always is in a more understated way) which makes me feel like he's not liking me very much. Of course, it's been over a week since we last had sex, and that usually makes him cranky. Men.

Is this normal? Am I just being hormonal? WTF is my problem????

The last two days I've had some crampiness too. Nothing terrible... but you know me. I worry. When it's been at it's worst, it's usually followed by a poop. Imagine that.

Nothing fits me right now. I actually tried to go shop for some maternity clothes. Fail. First of all... everything I found was ugly or totally not my style. (Well, except for two shirts. I bought them.) Second of all, the Gap maternity by me is a handful of racks in the back of a baby Gap. So as I'm trying on clothes (and feeling like a fraud. Who am I to think I should be buying maternity clothes???) I'm listening to peoples' children scream their heads off. Awesome.

I did have some success with bras. I originally bought 2 at VS, which I didn't love and came to a total of $90. For real? For bras??? Lame. Then I did some online research and found that while I don't usually fit the body type that Lane Bryant caters to, I do fit the boob type. So I bought FOUR bras there for just ten percent more than I bought the two at VS. Needless to say, I returned those two. I usually wear a 36D and bought 38DD. I'm a little concerned that those will eventually be too small as well, but I really needed something.

As of yesterday I am twelve weeks. I've been fighting with myself over the last two weeks or so to say "I am X weeks" instead of "I would be X weeks, assuming everything is still alive." But in my head, I'm not always as successful. Though I heard the heartbeat just four days ago, I can't help thinking "I am twelve weeks IF everything is still okay." I'll know for sure tomorrow. Heartbeat scan first thing in the morning. Maybe then I can stop worrying about my achey crampy abdomen. Maybe then I can stop being so damn cranky. :-/

5 comments:

Amy said...

sending hugs your way. This is such a hard place to be, I remember it well. I wish al good things in your direction.

Anonymous said...

Lots of squishy love your way. Hope everything is perfect in the morning (and I'm glad it's early!)

XOXO

-K

Kakunaa said...

You ARE 12 weeks. This is exciting, and I am hoping soon you will be able to enjoy it.

Is there a Burlington Coat Factory near you? They are inxpensive...

HUGS

Jenny said...

Have you looked at oldnavy online? I don't think they do maternity in their stores (although, I'm in Australia now so I haven't actually been in a store for a few years) but they have a pretty good selection and of course, it's uber-cheap (price, but also quality). I bought a heap of stuff when I was pregnant last time assuming I'd get to wear it (silly me) and was pleased with my purchases.

Hope the scan goes well & looking forward to reading about your good results!

Frenchie said...

Update please!! How was your scan today? <3