Monday, February 21, 2011

Sooooo cranky.

I have been super mopey and cranky the last few days.

I feel unattractive (which I've been trying to counter with copious amounts of eyeliner), unproductive, and unlikable. III has seemed kind of cranky too (though his always is in a more understated way) which makes me feel like he's not liking me very much. Of course, it's been over a week since we last had sex, and that usually makes him cranky. Men.

Is this normal? Am I just being hormonal? WTF is my problem????

The last two days I've had some crampiness too. Nothing terrible... but you know me. I worry. When it's been at it's worst, it's usually followed by a poop. Imagine that.

Nothing fits me right now. I actually tried to go shop for some maternity clothes. Fail. First of all... everything I found was ugly or totally not my style. (Well, except for two shirts. I bought them.) Second of all, the Gap maternity by me is a handful of racks in the back of a baby Gap. So as I'm trying on clothes (and feeling like a fraud. Who am I to think I should be buying maternity clothes???) I'm listening to peoples' children scream their heads off. Awesome.

I did have some success with bras. I originally bought 2 at VS, which I didn't love and came to a total of $90. For real? For bras??? Lame. Then I did some online research and found that while I don't usually fit the body type that Lane Bryant caters to, I do fit the boob type. So I bought FOUR bras there for just ten percent more than I bought the two at VS. Needless to say, I returned those two. I usually wear a 36D and bought 38DD. I'm a little concerned that those will eventually be too small as well, but I really needed something.

As of yesterday I am twelve weeks. I've been fighting with myself over the last two weeks or so to say "I am X weeks" instead of "I would be X weeks, assuming everything is still alive." But in my head, I'm not always as successful. Though I heard the heartbeat just four days ago, I can't help thinking "I am twelve weeks IF everything is still okay." I'll know for sure tomorrow. Heartbeat scan first thing in the morning. Maybe then I can stop worrying about my achey crampy abdomen. Maybe then I can stop being so damn cranky. :-/


Amy said...

sending hugs your way. This is such a hard place to be, I remember it well. I wish al good things in your direction.

Anonymous said...

Lots of squishy love your way. Hope everything is perfect in the morning (and I'm glad it's early!)



Kakunaa said...

You ARE 12 weeks. This is exciting, and I am hoping soon you will be able to enjoy it.

Is there a Burlington Coat Factory near you? They are inxpensive...


Jenny said...

Have you looked at oldnavy online? I don't think they do maternity in their stores (although, I'm in Australia now so I haven't actually been in a store for a few years) but they have a pretty good selection and of course, it's uber-cheap (price, but also quality). I bought a heap of stuff when I was pregnant last time assuming I'd get to wear it (silly me) and was pleased with my purchases.

Hope the scan goes well & looking forward to reading about your good results!

Frenchie said...

Update please!! How was your scan today? <3