Sunday, February 6, 2011

OB-phobia

I'm really nervous to go to my OB tomorrow.

Obviously, I'm nervous about getting bad news. How can I not be? But I'm also just nervous about GOING. The last time I was there was a year and a half ago when she couldn't find a heartbeat with her ancient u/s machine. When she had to send me across the street to the creepy u/s doc who confirmed our miscarriage. The last time I saw her was the next day when she performed my D&C.

I remember sitting in her waiting room forever before hand, because she always makes a point to spend as much time as necessary with each patient, which then backs up her appointments. Thinking about doing it again tomorrow, but with a year and a half (and two miscarriages worth) of extra baggage makes me want to throw up.

My appointment is at noon (last time was at 4) so I'm hoping there will be less of a wait. Also, III is going to try to come as well. I don't know how many husbands come to a 10w appointment, but every time I've been surprised with bad news I've been on my own. So I'm glad I'll have him there.

I hope I can sleep tonight. As nervous as I am, I'm afraid I won't be able to turn off my brain.

At least at this time tomorrow we'll know what's what...

7 comments:

LisainSK said...

The first u/s after so much loss is SOOO hard. Good luck tomorrow and can't wait to hear the news!

J said...

(((HUGS)))!! I'm glad III will be there with you.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

Good luck today! Thinking good thoughts for you and waiting to hear happy news.

Michele said...

I'm glad he can make it. My husband missed that last u/s appt before Nick was born and never forgave himself; he has come to every single one for the children after (except the ones when I was in the hospital on bedrest because we had no real clue of when they would be).

Kakunaa said...

My Hubby has made all but maybe 2 of my appointments. It is so nice to have him there. I pray everything goes well for you today, and I will be thinking of you!

Big HUGS to you, darling.

Infertile Farmer said...

Oh, I could have written this post. I just went through the same thing. I was terrified of going to my 10 wk U/S and in fact, I was sure everything was over (just like it was last time). I brought my hubby because last time I was on my own too. But, it turned out I was just paranoid. Wishing you the same luck that I had!

Browniris said...

I feel the EXACT same way about my appointment on Thursday. GL...I hope that everything goes well and you are able to post some good news!