On Anxiety

As my last ultrasound gets further away, I get progressively more anxious. As I mentioned, my OB told me I could come in whenever I needed/wanted to, but even that makes me anxious. I've felt nervous about even calling to talk to the admin staff about making an appointment.

Yesterday, I had my consult with the psychopharmacologist, Dr. F. It lasted almost an hour and a half! I really liked her- she was clearly very knowledgeable and experienced. The practice she works in is also very collaborative and keeps up with all the studies around psych meds and pregnancy.

I know that many people don't think a woman should take any meds, and especially psych meds, when pregnant. If you are one of those people, then I respect that choice for YOU. However, I have no doubt that my level of anxiety and it's accompanying physical symptoms are bad for my baby. This is something I was strongly aware of just on my own, and its why I asked my OB about it. Both she and this Dr. F confirmed that. Dr. F also discussed with me the possibility of more severe anxiety after the baby is born.

Dr. F felt that I should continue with my prozac, and that down the line we may even want to increase it. She also gave me a prescription for klonopin, to take when I am having acute anxiety or in the middle of a panic attack. She took quite a bit of time covering all of the studies around pregnancy and the potential effects of each of these drugs on a baby, as well as studies about the pre and post natal effects of untreated anxiety and depression on babies. She prepared me for comments I might hear from people, even nurses and other medical professionals, who do not know the specifics of my situation and/or as much about the studies around these meds.

Finally, she suggested that I take my OB up on the offer to have regular heartbeat scans- she suggested twice a week. She felt that not only would it ease my mind, but that it would make the visits to the OB more routine for me, which would hopefully ease my anxiety around the anticipation of each visit. This made me feel more like it was okay to call to make an appointment- like there was further validation by having this doctor "prescribe" more appointments. Despite this, I was still anxious to actually make the call, but I did (and it was obviously fine and pretty easy) and I have an appointment with a nurse first thing tomorrow morning. (And, as a testament to my crazy brain, all I can think about is that I hope there is a heartbeat and not loss. Will this kind of thinking ever stop???)

I am relieved to have something to help me. The thought of the ongoing anxiety and imminent panic attacks made me even more anxious than I already was. I hope that not only will her suggestions help me, but that as I get further in my pregnancy that my anxiety will decrease.