Thursday, June 17, 2010

Tired of it all

I wish I was better at letting things go.

I got a nasty email from a parent today. It's a situation where I did what I thought was best. Was I 100% right? Unlikely. But when are we ever? Do I understand where dad is coming from? Yes. I just don't understand why he had to be so awful about it. He told me I was sending his daughter a "message of corruption and cynicism". For real?

But I do stand by what I chose. And I don't think his daughter will be scarred. In fact, I think she will learn from it (which was why I made the choice in the first place). She's actually a great kid. If she lives the rest of her life mad at me because of it... well, honestly, I don't think she would have if her dad hadn't intervened the way he did.

I'm exhausted. I have nothing left for this shit. And dealing with parents like this is the worst part of my job.

Does no one have any perspective anymore?

But I digress.

I wish I could let this go. I emailed him back. My email was firm, but not nasty. (I had two coworkers read it before I sent it.) But it is still bothering me. Part of me... I want to be right. Even though, as I mentioned above, I'm sure there is no 100% "right". Part of me is hurt-taking it personally. I like this kid, and I've worked hard to help her this year. I've stayed after school with her. I wrote her recommendations for private school. And THIS is the only email I've ever gotten from this parent?

I've been thinking about it non stop since I received the email eight hours ago. I cried over it... some of my students saw me. "Are you okay?" they asked... not knowing that the question only makes it harder for me not to cry. It literally ruined my day. I'm nervous that, despite my email, he might show up at my classroom tomorrow.

I have nothing left for this kind of nonsense.

I'm just so tired.


jill said...

Wow that sounds like a horrible situation. It made me think about my current job struggle and whether anything else would really be any better... All jobs come with their stresses I guess. I'm sorry you are going through this and I hope you receive a better email back from the parent (and that he doesn't show up in your classroom). I take things personally too - I feel your pain.

"Jay" said...

I used to coach swim team. The kids were awesome, the parents...not so much. They made the job so much harder.

Just remember, the people that give the least, expect the most.
That dad isn't worth your sadness or tears. Hang in there.

Fran said...

How awful. I don't normally deal with parents so I can only imagine how distressful this may be. I hope he'll reply to your email and come to some sense. I feel your tiredness and I wish there was something I could do. Much love, Fran

Anonymous said...

I've had my share of awful parents to deal with, and I know EXACTLY how you feel. Emails like that can ruin your entire day!!! My husband has worked really hard with me to learn to just let it go. I can't (and won't) please everybody, and no parent should have the power to make me so hurt or angry. It still hurts, but I try to get over it as quickly as I can. Occasionally a large glass of wine is needed, and on occasion I've been known to print out the offending email and oh, I don't know, cut it into teeny pieces, or write mean things in red marker all over it... It's very cathartic. :-)

caitsmom said...

Sounds like a crappy situation. OK, don't skewer me, but I'm thinking that since your correspondence so far has been via email, you may actually achieve much more if you do meet face to face. So much is misconstrued in email and you don't see the sincerity when it's there and see sarcasm when it isn't. So, hopefully, it will help and not make you more tired.

And if this messaged pissed you off, I'm sorry. Just wanted to shared what first came to mind. I teach as well, and dread parents, but usually if I can talk to them, it goes better. Sounds like you are really putting the child first and that surely will come through.

Peace. Hang in there!