Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Post op

I met with Dr. Z yesterday for my D&E 'post op'.

Nothing interesting to report. The testing of the "products of conception" came back normal. As expected.

He gave me the name and number of a doctor to do laproscopic surgery to remove my fibroid. The problem is we're scheduled to leave for the summer on June 29, and I'm not sure I can get it in by then. He also had a recommendation for a doctor near where I'll be this summer who could do it, but I'm not sure how that would work with insurance.

While in the appointment with him, he commented on how I always seem to "put on a brave face" at our appointments. What he doesn't know is that I left that appointment and cried all the way home in the car.

I can't believe this is my life. I can't believe it is June 2010 and I'm not pregnant. Next week I would have been twelve weeks with this last pregnancy. My biggest problem should have been when and how we were going to share our news.

While sitting in the waiting room I thought of how sick I am of sitting in the waiting room for ultrasound after appointment after procedure after appointment after blood draw....

At the same time, I'm dreading our impending move and having to change clinics and get to know someplace new and dealing with having a new doctor get to know our situation.

This all sucks. I just want a baby. :(


irrationalexuberance said...

it is horrifying when you add it all up, isn't it? I'm sorry that the appointment, and frankly this whole thing, is so rough, and I'm sending you hope that the pain abates a bit soon.

Fran said...

Sweetie my heart just aches for you. I want to think that the change, the removal of the fibroid and the perhaps a new clinic WILL make your dream come true. You are in my thoughts and I'm sending you positive vibes all the way. Fran

Seed.Sprout.Swell said...

I feel your pain. Like you, I should be nearing 12 weeks and making exciting plans to share the news. I too am so sick of it all. It is unfair and it sucks.

We have to hope though...that one day we'll have what we want. It will be worth the wait.

DaisyGal said...

I ache and ache for you. I don't know the pain of m/c..and for that I'm sorry, but I do know the pain of sitting in those waiting rooms and just waiting...waiting for my life to change, waiting for something to be different, waiting for a miracle and not knowing when it was coming.

I am so sorry about your wait. I just wanted you to know that...

Frenchie said...

I am so sorry. I am hoping and praying for you that getting that fibroid removed will make all the difference. But the wait sucks. All of this sucks. ((hugs))