Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Let it be.

Yesterday, I convinced myself to have a day of excitement. I felt lighter and happy. I know there is a long way to go, but it has to start with a positive beta, right?

Today I'm back to having mixed feelings. Crampiness on the drive in had me nervous, even though I know I had crampiness during my first pregnancy and that it is a typical early pregnancy symptom. Thursday seems forever away, and thinking about the first u/s, which will likely be in early May, makes me cringe. How will I make it through the next three weeks? Then I have to get to the 8 week mark, which is where I lost my last pregnancy. Then the 12 weeks mark. Then to 24 weeks- that's viability, right?

I guess it's just one step at a time- one foot in front of the other. I'm pleased to have such a high beta, as that helps relieve any fear of a potential chemical pregnancy. The nurse who called me yesterday was thrilled. For once, III is more wary than I am. I text messaged him the news yesterday, and his response was "Yay! But now the waiting game begins..."

Assuming this pregnancy progresses, my second trimester will begin around the end of the school year. That means I'll spend the summer in my second trimester, which would be great. I know for most people that is the best time of their pregnancy, and I would really love to have a great summer. We're traveling to visit both of our families in July, so that would be a bonus too. We would have just recently announced the pregnancy, and would be able to celebrate in person with our loved ones.

So I guess in general I'm feeling more hope than fear. We are ready for this baby in so many ways. This is the time. It just has to be.


Anonymous said...

I had crampiness near the beginning too (and it totally freaked me out) but it turned out to be normal. Hopefully yours is too!!


Amaprincess said...

I think trying to remain positive is necessary for your sanity! I know it must be so scary ..but enjoy it =)

Emily said...

I remember the anxiety of those early days - wishing you peace! GOOD LUCK!

Nixy said...

I also had early cramping (and even bleeding that led to a 6 week u/s). I'm hoping that it means only good things!

Anonymous said...

I am so excited for you . . . :-). My 1st beta with twins was 9dp 5dt and it was 265. I think yours was 9dp too? Just sayin' . . .

Staying positive is so difficult. I kept reminding myself that negative thoughts were accomplishing exactly the oppositve of what I'd worked so hard for, that helped me stem them a tiny bit.