Wednesday, February 3, 2010

u/s and bloodwork yesterday-- everything looks good. My progesterone was only at 0.337 (good- meaning I didn't ovulate) and my lining was over 7mm.

Sooooo. I'm feeling a little numb about the whole thing, I think as self preservation in case we end up with nothing to transfer. I have so much anxiety about the whole thing, regardless of the outcome. If none of them survive the thaw, I'll be disappointed and we wasted another month. If they survive the thaw but are not normal, ditto to the last comment plus it will cause me anxiety about whether we can produce normal embryos. If we get some good ones to transfer, I have the anxiety of the 2ww. Even if I get a positive beta... well, we all know how it goes. Especially since all the forms and phone calls I've had with the lab pounds into my head that a good test result doesn't guarantee an embryo without chromosomal issues. I know they have to say that, but... ugh.

Not feeling well today. Another cold is coming on. Still missing my B-dog like I'd miss a limb, if you can believe that. III's bday is Friday and I seem to have lost my gift-giving mo-jo and am scrambling a bit...

I think I'm ready for this week to be over...


"Jay" said...

Hang in there girl! The waiting is brutal and the anxiety is even worse. All we can do is take everything moment to moment. I am totally anxious about my little embryo surviving the thaw as well.

I am sending you the best of wishes for you and this cycle. And it is completely reasonable to be missing Bdog like crazy still.
Dogs are family and very missed when they are gone.

Jenn said...

I read this post and know that I will be able to identify with every single emotion when my FET rolls around in April. Not only does IF rob of us of so much, put a m/c in there and I think every emotion quadrupels!
My dog was sick about a month ago and I cried for days thinking she may pass away. Our pets are our babies. My husband still cries when he thinks about our other dog that did pass and that was 6 years ago. He was with us for 14 years and you just don't forget that.
Hang in there and try to stay positive. Sending peace your way.