Thursday, September 23, 2010

Twenty-three

On this day last year...

...I said good bye to my very best friend. My good girl.

The twenty-first was an awful day.
The twenty-second was unbearably trying.

But the twenty-third...

I think about that day often. I can't believe she's been gone for a year. I have been dreaming about her this week and she's very much on my mind. The four years we were together were far too short. I love Peanut, but I hate that her coming into our lives was preceded by losing B.

A year later, I can feel myself forgetting small things about her. I need to look at photos to remember some of her markings. The look on her face when she wanted something. What it felt like when she gave me those rare kisses.

I do remember a lot. The way she would sit on my feet when she was nervous. How she'd put her head on my shoulder from behind me. The face she made when I'd scratch her chin. How her face felt when I held it between my hands. But I know that will also fade...

I wish I could see her again. Let her climb up into my lap (all 75 pounds of her!). Wrap my arms around her and bury my face in her soft neck. Rub her ears. Kiss her smooshy face.

I know I've said all of this before: She was just a dog. But she loved me in a way no one else will ever love me. She came to me when I most needed her, and I miss her every single day.

11 comments:

Crossed Fingers said...

Pets are never "just a dog" or "just a cat" - they are part of the family and losing one is like losing a child. I think the bond we share with our pets is so special and so different from the bond we share with humans. Sorry for your loss. :(

ICLW #115
http://lovelyladybump.blogspot.com/

Kakunaa said...

Oh, my, you really did have a horrendous week, didn't you? HUGS.

Gurlee said...

No, she was not "just a dog", she was your unconditional friend. I know how hard it is to loose a beloved friend. I am sorry. I am happy her memories can live on however hazy.

April said...

She wasn't just a dog. She was your friend. We lost our Josie 4 years ago this November and I still miss her. Last summer we finally got a new dog as a friend for our bulldog and then in January we got a friend for the lab mix because he needed someone who could play with him. I can't imagine not having any of our 3 dogs at this point. Your B is a beutiful dog.

ICLW

Anonymous said...

Love your boxer girl's face and I'm so sorry for your losses. I have two boxers at home and they really are the best dogs ever with the smooshiest faces. I'll hug mine extra tight for you tonight--thinking of you during this sucky week. (longtime lurker, but not in a stalker-kind-of-way).

Jennifer said...

Its so hard to lose a dear friend furry or not. Hugs to you.

Mummy in Waiting said...

It is so hard to lose a beloved pet and your post made me cry. I can feel your grief and I'm so sorry for your loss. (((HUG)))

ICLW#12

Jen: Proud Mom of 7 Adopted Miracle Blessings said...

I lost my "Finny Girl" over Labor Day last year... I feel your pain!!!

The Poem titled: The Rainbow Bridge brings me lots of comfort:
http://www.petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm

I hope it does the same for you!!!

Hugs!!!
LCLW 64&65

RELH said...

So sorry for the passing of your puppy. I couldn't imagine.

First and Only said...

A dog is never just a dog. The disappointment if IF would be unbearable without my sweet pup. I hope that I will e able to love a baby as much as I love my dog.

ICLW 75

stacie said...

So sorry for your loss. It is always hard to lose a special pet, they are so much more than "just" a pet.