Sunday, August 14, 2011

All about me?

Since early to mid 2nd trimester, I've been participating on an online pregnancy message board that is organized by birth month. There are good things and bad things about those online communities, but in this case I've actually made a few good connections with other women- one who is currently a neighbor of mine, who I have hung out with a few times. Two others live in the city where we will be moving! It's nice to have made some connections there with women who will have babies (both boys as well!) the same age as mine.

One of the women is in the hospital with her little one now... long story short, they learned during the second trimester that their baby had some birth defects. At the time, there was some concern that they would be severe enough that the pregnancy would not be successful- there was even talk of terminating. As she progressed into 3rd trimester, the doctors began to feel that, even though he would need surgery and extra attention when he was born, her baby had a good chance at coming out of everything fine.

For various reasons, they induced her this weekend. (at around 37w.) It was not a very successful induction, and they ended up having to do a c/s- her baby was born and it was discovered that he has some additional concerning issues. I don't know the specifics, because all of these updates have come from a few other women on the message board who are in touch with her by text. There has been no news since this morning.

I'm having a hard time thinking about anything but her and her baby. I know that I tend to be almost overly empathetic- I get wrapped up in the stories of people I don't even know. In this case, I've gotten to know her a bit through the internet, but have never met her. In some ways, it feels kind of crazy how concerned I am for her and her little boy.

Though, if I'm being totally honest (and what is an anonymous blog for if not to be totally honest) there is a part of me that is concerned for me in this situation. (Ugh. It makes me cringe to even type that. Like it's all about me!!!) I really like everything I've learned about this woman, and we have quite a lot in common. It's been one of the few things I've been looking forward to with our move- getting to meet her and anticipating spending time together. If something terrible happens with her son, I know that won't happen. I couldn't blame her- how could she watch my son grow and thrive when hers didn't. That would be hard to do with someone with whom you had an established friendship, not to mention someone from the internet who you've never met. So there is a part of me that is worried about what this means to our potential friendship.

I know that even without that I'd be feeling very concerned for her. I know because it's been true with other women on the message board, and even blogs I've read for the first time only after reading about it on LFCA. But it makes me feel kind of ashamed that I even am bringing my petty concerns into the situation, even in my own head.

Send out some thoughts and prayers for my message board friend and her little boy, please! I know that no matter what happens, I'm going to be fine and find great friends in my new city. But no one should have to go through this with their sweet baby, and I really am wishing for a quick and full recovery for her son.


Keya said...

Its amazing the kind of friends you meet and make on the internet. My heart goes out to her....I hope she and her baby are doing well. I have always wondered what I would do in a situation like this. I know its easier said than done, but I know we will love our little one, however she is born...and I am sure the mother feels the same way. Your support is probably the best help you can give her in these trying times.

Anonymous said...

My heart goes out to your friend and her sweet baby...gosh so not fair! I hope your friendship will endure/escape your worst fears.