Thursday, June 9, 2011

The hormones probably aren't helping...

Let me begin by saying that I'm sure I'd be less irritated if I wasn't teeming with pregnancy hormones. I totally get it.

So anyway.

When I decided to take this year off, my best friend was thrilled. She's staying home with her kids and was psyched that we'd get to see each other all of the time.

Of course, it didn't turn out that way.

I definitely see her more than I used to, but considering neither of us are working, it should be easy to plan time together- especially since I usually don't mind driving out to hang out with her and the kids at her house. After all, I just have me to get there.

The problem? She's a planner. BIG TIME. She literally has had every weekend this summer planned out since at least a month ago. Again, she has no weekends free to plan anything together. (Though one of those weekends is booked to have a shower for me- but it was one of only two weekends she had available the whole summer.)

A conversation will go like this:
BF: We should hang out this week!
Me: Yes, we should. My schedule is pretty open...
BF: Well, I have baby playgroup on Monday morning, and plans with J on Tuesday morning. Then I'm having lunch with A on Tuesday and we're taking the kids to the park. On Wednesday, my husband is going to work from home while I go to {this activity} with {whoever}. Then Friday we're leaving around 11am to go to the beach house for the whole weekend. So how about Thursday?
Me: I have to work Thursday. (Note- one of two days that I'm working the whole week)
BF: Ugh. Your work schedule is such a pain! It totally gets in the way of us hanging out!

Could that last comment kind of be tongue in cheek? Absolutely. Except she says it nearly every single time.

She really wants to meet my friend, Sra. I really want them to meet- they have a ton in common, plus they are planning my shower together. In May, I offered to have them over for a Saturday or Sunday, lunch or dinner, with kids. My BF had one day that worked for her. The one weekend that Sra was out of town. Then summer started, and like I said, she has every weekend scheduled already. Guess they'll meet at my shower....

The thing that has me going today... she wanted us to do a double date with our husbands- it's been close to a year since we have. Again, she had three days that worked- a Tuesday, a Thursday and a Friday. III generally is pretty wiped on work nights, but he said he could do this Friday, despite that fact that he's been 8 hrs away at training all week and will be driving back early in the morning.

I am working 10-5 that day. So I suggested we make reservations for 7:30pm. BF just called to tell me that's too late- they don't like to leave their babysitter longer than 9pm, plus she'd like to be in bed by 9:30.

*sigh* I know that you have to schedule your social life around your kids. I completely understand that in a very short time, that will be our world. But then don't make it seem like I'm the one who is making it difficult to get together. I was free every day this week.

She is my biggest support and I love her to death. But I'm tired and pregnant and cranky, and I'm not really interested in having to be the one who bends over backwards to try to make time together right now. And I resent that it makes me feel like I'm being antisocial and difficult.

/rant

4 comments:

SLESE1014 said...

I would have been upset by her comments too. And I'm only a little pregnant, so my hormones aren't as concentrated as yours. But the whole work schedule messing with your time together comment would have sent me over the edge.

And you shouldn't have to be the one to bend over backwards, neither of you should. It's obvious there are times when you're available and she's not. So turn the tables on her and tell her about how her plans for every weekend this summer cuts into your time together.

Yes, I'm that petty. But I would find a way to do it where it wasn't snide, just a way to open her eyes. Definitely calm down before taking on the challenge of trying to discuss it with her.


GOOD LUCK!!!

Frau Hill said...

That would bother me too. My best friend is very similar. I always try to accomodate her because I do not have kids, but it seems like it is harder and harder for me to do that as time goes on. I am beginning to get aggravated by the entire thing because of stupid little stuff like, she never posts and kind of encouragement on my blog, she never posts anything on FB to me but I see her post on everyone elses page, and I resent that she knows what I am going through and she shows no support. I live in Germany and I am far away from all my friends and family. I need those little things. Plus, we have a standing phone date on Mondays at 3:00pm my time, 9:00am her time. Half the time she schedules appointments for the doctor or dentist during that time and never informs me. If you can not talk at that time, let me know so that I can plan my schedule accordingly as well!

Phew! Sorry I just went off on my own little rant. Anyway, I can understand the frustration of friends seeming to think that their schedule is the most important. We love them anyway, right? Good luck with everything!

Browniris said...

That does seem really frustrating...and I can see how it would get old really fast and don't blame you at all for being annoyed. I know that having kids does change things, but I agree she should at least try and set something up with you or hold herself accountable. Good luck!

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