Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Denied

Last night, I crawled into bed with III...naked. He just lay there. I said "Are you too tired?" He looked at the clock and said, "Yeah. I'm too tired." I put my PJs back on, gave him a kiss, and rolled over.

And cried for an hour.

There hasn't been much action around here for the last four or five months. On top of the normal pregnancy stuff, the increased dose of Prozac I'm on makes my sex drive about .... zero. III has stopped initiating- he told me that he felt like I just would say yes because I feel bad for him and "that's not hot."

So, though I never got that second tri drive increase, I try to initiate once in a while. Once we get going, I'm fine and enjoy it.

Last time, maybe a week or two ago, III commented that it was kind of strange to think of having sex while "our son" was there. I reminded him that HE doesn't know what's going on! LOL I still think III was kind of freaked out. I'm pretty sure he didn't... um... finish....

So, maybe he was too tired. Maybe it was because he had to get up early and knew he had a busy day today. But... geez. I know he, like most guys, would like to be doing it more often. And I know we'll have a big dry spell towards the end of my pregnancy and for a few months afterwards.

I don't know. I knew there was a possibility that III would just want to sleep, but it turned out to upset me anyway. Hello, hormones? It wasn't that I felt rejected, though I guess if I really delve into it I probably did a little. But It made me worry... maybe he isn't attracted to me. Maybe he won't want to have sex with me again. Even the really irrational, over the top thought... what if there's someone else?

I don't know the solution. III has told me he isn't too worried, that he knows this is temporary. I've already spoken to my doctor about adjusting my meds after the baby arrives. I know there is more to our relationship than sex, but I guess I still worry.

5 comments:

J said...

Honestly, he probably was tired. Try not to overthink this and try again when it isn't too late. Or he just may be freaked out...when I was pregnant, G wouldn't have sex with me because he didn't want to poke the kid in the head, I laughed because you have to have a really big p*n*s for that to happen! :)

Keya said...

We haven't had much action in the last 4 months either because hubby thinks he is going to hurt the baby. When I finally get him to participate, it feels like he isn't enjoying it one bit. So i've given up initiating as well! I guess its normal for III to feel this way, and yea maybe he was just tired?

Anonymous said...

When pregnant with my first child, the husband and I went over a year without sex. Yeah, I know. At first we were scared that we would hurt the baby then we were just that tired. It's normal. No fun, but normal:) It will get better.

Krista said...

I wouldn't worry too much about it. Every one of my friends who has gotten pregnant says their husbands are freaked out to have sex because it feels weird to think there is a baby "right there!" It is completely normal. For some reason, the man can't stop thinking that their baby is right there while they get all hot and heavy,then they stop getting hot and heavy because they can't stop thinking about it.
If I were in your shoes, I would talk to him about it when it isn't "go time." Tell him how you feel and then listen to what he has to say about the situation. Tell him you need that intimacy with him even you don't "do the deed," you still need to feel close to him. Sometimes it is easier for my husband and I to discuss sex when we aren't laying in bed, but sometime in the daylight so you both know where you stand once you are laying in bed!

LisainSK said...

I worry too. We have only done the deed like 2-3 times and the last two times were excruciatingly painful for me so now at 33 weeks its been since like week 18 since we made the last attempt. I feel bad too and how things will change after baby is here. But I have had ZERO drive at all since day one. So hang in there...extra sacrifices I know!