Monday, April 11, 2011


Emetophobia: an intense, irrational fear or anxiety pertaining to vomiting

Yep, that would be me. Ever since I was a kid. My sister would get the stomach flu and I'd lock myself in my bedroom. I'm great in emergencies, unless they involve vomiting. Then you can find me on the other side of the room (or preferably, a different room. Or building. Or city.)

I am lucky that I rarely vomit. I can count on my fingers the number of times I have in the last ten years. III also seems to be a rare vomiter.

Until this weekend.

Poor guy got the stomach bug that has been going around all winter. It came on pretty quickly, and he was very sick on Saturday night. He stayed in bed all day yesterday, which has never happened as long as I've known him.

Saturday night was rough for me as well. I felt so awful for him, and wished there was something I could do to help him. But I also couldn't shake my own fear that I would catch the bug and have to deal with myself vomiting. Every time I heard him in the bathroom, my own stomach seized up. I felt so bad... I wished I could be the person who sat by him and wiped his mouth as he was sick... but, yeah. Not so much. (Luckily, I don't think he's the type of person who would want that.)

I spent yesterday keeping the dogs quiet and periodically bringing him a tray with ginger ale, Gatorade, crackers and jello. I slept in the spare room for the past two nights so that he could get up as he needed to without worrying he was going to disturb me. (And who are we kidding? I was concerned about the germs...) And I'll admit, there was lots of hand washing...

This morning, I asked him how he was feeling and he shrugged and mumbled. He's cranky. Which I guess means he is getting better, right? But grumpiness irritates me. I mean, he's totally entitled- he's barely eaten for the last thirty six hours. He didn't work out yesterday. Which for him is crazy- I don't think there has been a day since I've known him that he hasn't worked out. And I know that makes him cranky. But I have a hard time not taking crankiness personally... I slept in today, mostly due to a pregnancy-headache. He got up and watched a James Bond movie and attempted some food. As soon as I came downstairs, he headed back upstairs. It could be that he wore himself out with his foray to the couch after no food for the past day and a half. But like I said... it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.

I wish I could be that wife who is totally selfless. Who can put all of my own feelings and phobias aside to care for my poor, vomiting husband. But I can't shake my own fears and insecurities, I guess. So on top of worrying about him and feeling bad that he feels so crappy, I'm left with a constant sense of anxiety and discomfort...

Hopefully, he didn't really notice. :-/


S said...

You'll get used to vomiting when your baby comes; you won't have a choice. They vomit, or at least "spit up," with regularity. ;-)

I think by bringing him ginger ale, Gatorade, crackers & jello you did more than enough. All most people need when they have gastrointestinal upset is fluids and rest.

Kakunaa said...

Its not you sweetie, I promise. HUGS