Sunday, May 8, 2011


Today I am 23 weeks.

KB is planning to throw me a baby shower- not until July, but the planning is in the works. My mom and MIL I know are itching to start shopping. Plus, we're going to have to start getting prepared at some point.

So I've started researching. I literally have no idea about all the baby crap that is out there.* I bought the Baby Bargains book which has actually been helpful. KB also gave me a list (and is going to give me handmedowns! Woo hoo!) to go off of.

I've made some choices and started two registries... but I've made both of them private for now. I'm not sure when I will be able to make them public. I'm so nervous about this part... I'm so afraid of picking out baby things and requesting gifts. I don't know if I'm afraid to tempt fate or if I'm just afraid of how it will feel if something were to happen.

I am more excited and less nervous than I was, say, a month ago.** Especially two or three months ago. But it's like I'm still waiting for the bad to happen. The only purchases I've made are supplies for projects I have in mind for the baby. I bought yarn to make a homecoming bunting. Then to make a teddy bear- which is the first baby thing I've finished. Today I bought fabric for the nursery, to make a blanket and other bedding. Some unfinished frames and paint for a wall project I have in mind for the nursery. I don't know why that's easier- maybe because I can view it as a project rather than part of my planning.

I wish it was September and baby boy was here. I know that brings a whole new set of worries, but there's still so far to go, and so much that can go wrong. Statistically, I should be in really good shape. But statistics have never been on my side before.

*I'm so clueless, that whenever I'd hear or read about "BRU" I thought it was some fancy, upscale baby brand name. Nope. It's just Bab.ies R U.s. LOL
**I wish he'd kick more. And more consistently. And harder. He can kick me all day long. I'd love the constant reminder that he's alive.


Anonymous said...

Hey JustMe...I am nearing 30 weeks and starting to panic again too. Hang in there...and hope that the fun of baby shopping will take over your fear if even for just a few hours. Take care.

Browniris said...

I can relate to a lot of your post. Sometimes it just seems to good to be true...enjoy the registering. It is fun, but can definitely be very overwhelming!

heartincharge said...

I loved Baby Bargains! It made things seem so much less overwhelming. Although it is still overwhelming.

Don't worry. You will feel him a lot more soon!