No embryo update yet...

...but I do have some other stuff to comment on.

When I got to school today, the social studies teacher (who I'm friends with) told me that SS was really pumping her for information yesterday about why I was out- to the point where she was uncomfortable. She told her "I don't know where she is" (which was not true) "and it's none of my business." SS apparently didn't take the hint...

This morning, she came right in to ask me about where I was and how things went. I shared, even though I was slightly irritated at how intrusive I felt she was being.

Well, shame on me for being cynical. Not fifteen minutes later, SS came in with a present for me- a cute little card that said "believe" on the front and wished me luck in this cycle, and a jade good luck charm that she had gotten from the secretary in our office the month that her IUI worked. She must have been waiting for this point in my cycle to give it to me. Sweet, right?

As I mentioned yesterday in my post, I missed the high school graduation. I'm very bummed about it. The group that graduated was my favorite class I've had in the last eleven years.

I started thinking about when I had them four years ago. My life was so different. I was living in my condo- my favorite place I ever lived, the first place I lived alone, the place I owned and that was mine. I was getting over that stupid mistake relationship and had recently found out I had HSV. My personal life was kind of in shambles, but I loved going to work.(Which is basically the polar opposite of where I am this year.) I felt like I was giving a lot to my students, and I also got a lot from them. They were sweet and wanted to please. They were a class that came such a long way from September to June. I had a really close relationship with one student in particular (who happened, randomly, to be related to R) and she wrote me the sweetest letter at the end of the school year and then cried on the last day of school because she was leaving me. It's the year I got B-dog, and she actually came to school with me on the last day of school because we were spending the day at a park with the kids. I never would have imagined where I'd be now- the good or the bad.

I wish I could have been there to see them all again and celebrate with them and their families. :( I'm glad our cycle is well underway, and glad the retrieval was so successful, it just sucks that the timing turned out the way it did.

I'm awake...

...and super crampy. Ick. They gave me tyl.enol 3 but I only took one because I don't want to be too groggy.

Everything went well. Lots of sitting around and waiting. The piercing situation was fine- I took all out except the two newest, and I had teeny little plastic retainers in them. They had me wear a surgical cap anyway, and that pretty much covered most of my ears. They all went back in pretty well, but I'm still working on getting the little balls screwed on the ends. What a pain!

As I said, they got 17 eggs. Excellent. They said they'd call tomorrow and let me know how many fertilized. They would like to do the transfer on Saturday, which is nice because I don't have to rearrange anything. Saturday is pretty open. :)

III's been great today, staying home from work and taking care of me. B-dog always knows when I don't feel well and wants to be sitting with me all the time.

I'm very bummed that I'm house bound for the rest of the day. My all time favorite class is graduating from high school tonight. I had planned to go to the ceremony, but clearly I'm not going to make it now. I would have loved to see my former students and watched them graduate. :( Just bad timing I guess.

Thanks for all the good thoughts. :) I'll update when I know how many eggs fertilized. :)

retrieval- check!

I'll be back later with a more thorough post, but for now...

Everything went well this morning. 17 eggs were retrieved. Embryo transfer scheduled for Saturday.

I'm sleepy and crampy but otherwise doing well. :)

24 hours until ER

So yay for lots of follicles... but I started thinking about how many eggs that means... c had her retrieval yesterday. She had 28 measurable follicles and they retrieved 21 eggs. Pretty good odds! 75%! (Yes, I am a math teacher...)

So I did a little goo.gling and found this chart:
So according to that, on average the number of eggs retrieved is around the number of follicles measured. Hopefully that will be the case for me!

I put one of the retainers into one of my piercings yesterday- its a 3 year old piercing. I think I'm actually going to take that one out right before the procedure. It's healed and a larger gauge so an hour shouldn't be a big deal. The other two are much smaller gauge and only four months old. I'm going to try to put the retainers in in the morning and see how it goes. It took me forty five minutes to put the barbell in the tragus two months ago and there was lots of blood and swelling. *sigh*

I'm having definite cramping, especially on the right, and my boobs are killing me. I hate it every time I have a new protocol/procedure because I hate not knowing exactly what to expect.

Non ttc related:

As I've mentioned before, I've been trying to add one housekeeping habit periodically. The dishes were the first, and now I'm trying to make sure I put my clothes away each night when I get into my pjs (instead of leaving them sitting on top of my dresser until there is a mountain o' clothes). I maintain that III notices what I don't do and doesn't pay attention to the things I do do.

Last night, I asked him- "Have you noticed my newest household resolution?" Guess what- he hasn't. He walked around last night trying to figure it out, and he couldn't. He actually has commented in the past about my clothes being on the dresser, but now that they haven't been there for two weeks, he didn't even notice!!! I don't know if I should be irritated or feel smug that I was right. ;)

Okay, now I'm nervous.

The nurse (not Donna, my regular caller...) called at 2:30- egg retrieval on Wednesday!!!

What am I most nervous about? My earrings. LOL

I ordered some plastic retainers online for my 2 newest piercings, hoping that would be ok, but they won't get here in time.

I stopped today to get some at a local store, and what I got isn't ideal, but I figure I'll give it a try.

Clearly, I'd rather have a baby than 10 holes in my ears, BUT I've been trying really hard not to let this ART stuff take over my life... so do I say "screw it" and just take the jewelry out and possibly allow it to close up?

This probably seems like a really trivial thing to most, but the piercing and healing process is actually pretty intensive, and my 2 newest have been healing for 4 months. What a waste if I lose them now... :(

Of course, the other thing on my high anxiety list for this procedure is whether it will work. I am feeling optimistic about the fact that I have so many follicles, but am so nervous about whether this cycle will result in a baby.

*sigh*

Waiting...

My ovaries hurt. :( How odd. The tech said I had at least 27 measurable follicles!!!! So I guess that's why...

Waiting for the call from the nurse about what's next. She usually has called by now, so I'm getting impatient.

Sunday update

Estradiol: 3373
Right ovary: 15, 14, 14, 11
Left ovary: 16, 15, 15, 15, 15, 14, 14

Tonight: Bra.velle 75 iuis, Meno.pur 75 iuis, Lup.ron 5 units

U/s and bw again tomorrow.

The u/s today hurt. :( Especially on the right. My right ovary hurt for a while afterwards.

I'm tired as shit this weekend too. I slept on and off all day yesterday, and just got up from a nap. I'm now going to try to drag myself off the couch to walk the dogs and then do some gardening.

Saturday u/s and bw

Got up early this morning for my u/s and bloodwork.

I was super relieved.

4 on the left (14, 13, 12, and 10) and 5 on the right (15, 14, 13, 12, 12)!!! Considering how few I made the last two or three cycles, I was nervous... but hopefully we'll get something good.

The nurse called and said there are still lots of small ones, so they want to give my ovaries a chance to produce a few more and to let my est. to catch up- it was 2335.

So they cut my bra.velle in half and I go back tomorrow for another u/s and bloodwork.

Be.ats so big I'm step.pin' on lepre.chauns...

My day just doesn't start right unless I hear Boom Bo.om Pow in the morning...

Field trip day. Another teacher planned it, but I'm in charge because we have half the kids going on an overnight and he's there. That makes me a little nervous because I worry I won't know everything, but so it goes.

We're going to this outdoor geology/nature thing, so I put on my hiking boots and pulled out my waterproof shell jacket this morning. These are both things I bought over a decade ago. It made me think about how different my life is- how different I am- from ten years ago. When I was with my ex, "The Engineer", we would go hiking and camping and bike riding- lots of outdoor stuff. There were things I liked about that (I actually liked being seen as that low-maintenance girl who would go climbing through the woods and up the mountains), but things I hated (for example, the lack of bathrooms...). Now I'd much rather stay in a hotel than in a tent in the woods.

Life is funny.

I may be having some slight side effects from the stims. I'm feeling kind of moody and emotional, but am not sure if it's chemically/hormonally generated or just because of circumstances. I'm also super impatient- I just want everything to hurry up! The week, this cycle, the school year... I've had a headache probably three out of the last five or six mornings, and again- not sure if that's the meds or the weather or even related to the emotional stuff and/or stress.

So I'm off into the woods with forty teenagers... wish me luck!

Life is short, but sweet for certain. **updated!

First of all, an important announcement:

I am wearing very cute underwear today.

Last week, I ordered some new underwear from G.ap Body. They used to make ones I really they called "Low rise ch.eeky hip.sters" but they don't anymore. :( Now I have these modal undies that I love from there, some tanga style and some "girlshorts" .I only had 2 girlshorts, so I decided I needed more. I ordered several of both styles. They came yesterday. (Cranky UPS man delivered them, but didn't ring the bell so I didn't have to deal with him, and he didn't have to deal with the dogs.) I'm wearing the purple girlshorts today, and along with being comfy and soft, they have these little details on them that make them extra cute. I love cute underwear. :)

u/s and bloodwork this morning. The tech told me that nothing was measurable yet, but there were lots of (10+) follicles on each side. *sigh* I'm feeling very impatient this cycle... maybe it's that 3 week BCP break. Or maybe it's that it coincides with the end of the school year, which I'm already impatient about.

**update! My est. was 406, which is great. The last 2 IUIs it wasn't even that high on trigger day. Hopefully that means my many teeny follicles in today's u/s will grow and we'll have a good 'harvest'. :) 3 more days of meds, and next bw and u/s on Sat.

On a very serious note, this weekend one of the guidance counselors up at the high school died very suddenly, of a suspected heart attack. He was 32 years old. :( He was very well respected and loved by students and staff.

The part that affects me the most is that he was recently married. His face.book page is public, and on it he has beautiful pictures of himself and his bride on their wedding day. As sad as I feel for all who knew him, and for the rest of his family, it makes me so, so sad for her. It is one of my biggest fears to lose III, especially early in our marriage. I don't know how I would handle the loss or what I would do without him. :( So I'm thinking a lot about this poor woman and what she must be going through.

T minus two days to the weekend, fifteen (fourteen w/kids) 'til my break...

A vent and a smile.

I don't know why this upset me so much. It's the second time it's happened (the first time with our post man) and it upset me the first time too.

When we get deliveries, if they ring the doorbell, the dogs bark. My dogs want everyone to be their friends, so they run to greet the guest.

I understand that delivery people and postal workers have to be wary of dogs, especially big dogs. I understand that many of them have been bitten by dogs who's owners tell them "Oh, don't worry. They are friendly."

But that doesn't mean they have to be rude. Yesterday, I had a delivery from UPS. Anticipating hyper, barking dogs when he rang the bell, I went to the door before he got to our porch. I had the door open only a little and B was poking her nose in the little space she could find.

M-dog tried to get through too, but I grabbed his collar and he didn't even get past the doorframe. The delivery man started, and as a reflex to his discomfort I used the phrase he probably hates "He's friendly."

He gave me a dirty look and said "Well, he's friendly to YOU. They don't bite you."

I wish I had thought to say, "Actually, my dog has never bitten anyone." Instead, I said "I understand you probably hear that a lot, which is why I did grab him." He must have realized at that point he was being kind of a dick because he smiled and said "You did."

But I was upset. To the point I got kind of teary after the fact. (Hormonal much?) I know that he probably hears people say "Oh, he's friendly," or "He won't bite," only to find a dog who feels the need to protect his home. BUT- this is the same delivery person we often have and I've never let my dogs get free and have always restrained them when he comes to our house. I feel like it was completely unacceptable for him to be rude. And I know it wasn't just me being sensitive because III was standing right there when it happened and after the guy left he was pissed and said "That guy gave you that dirty look and I wanted to say something to him."

It probably shouldn't bother me as much as it does- but it does. I don't know if it's that I don't like that people are afraid of my lovey dogs, or if I'm upset that they are implying I'm an irresponsible and/or clueless dog owner.

I have more deliveries coming, and I want to tell him when he comes again "Lets make a deal- I won't open the door when you come if you don't ring the bell if you don't need a signature. That way you don't have to deal with my dogs and I don't have to deal with your rudeness." III would prefer I don't, however, since it could result in retaliatory package loss or damage in the future.

Anyway. On a more positive note...

III was telling me about an interview he did yesterday. The man he interviewed was a widower who was in the starting stages of memory loss. III told me "I know this is selfish, but I hope I die first. If you die before me, I just don't think I could handle it." Maybe morbid- but I thought that was sweet. He doesn't often express out loud how he feels about me (aside from the standard daily "I love you"s). The depth of that message- that he dreads the thought of outliving me and being without me- made me feel good. (Even though I also dread the thought of him dying before me...)

Day o' lists

What's going on:

• I went to dinner with KB last night. She's always late and I always end up waiting for her. I got the scoop on her month of ttc. Ovulation possible this weekend. End of cycle anywhere between the 20th and the 30th. Basically that means each of us could be finding out around the same time. Should be interesting.
• Poor M-dog. He had ACL surgery on his right leg when we first got him. Sometimes it still acts up- we noticed he was having some trouble and started him on aspirin with his meals. Yesterday, I realized it is his LEFT leg that's hurting him. Ugh. Hopefully he just strained it by favoring his right, but, on top of the fact that he's uncomfortable, the thought of the cost of another surgery makes me wince. And I'm not sure the pet insurance will cover it- since he had trouble with his right knee, they might consider it pre existing, even though it's his other leg.
• Because M-dog was feeling poorly, he was acting very subdued this morning. That made me concerned, so I took his temp. Yep, I started my morning by sticking a thermometer in my dogs ass. Fun for us both. Then I got to school and during first period (my worst class) I got a massive bloody nose. Clots and everything. I had to leave the class. Yuck.
• Saturday, thinking I was being all nice and wifey, I made the bed with clean sheets. Tucked them in and all. When I came to bed, my side was untucked. I said to III "Did you untuck my side??" He said "No, I remade the bed. Your side was up higher than my side." Seriously???? I said "Here I am trying to do something nice and make the bed and you decide that I did it wrong and redo it???" He realized his faux pas at that point and felt bad... *sigh* I just can't get it right. Either he's irritated because I'm not doing stuff, or I take the time to do it but I don't, in his opinion, do it the right way. Bite me.
• Found out another ex is getting married. Not sure why this stuff bothers me... KB and I talked about it yesterday. I think it's that, that time of engagement is supposed to be such a romantic, exciting time (although, in reality, I found it to be stressful and anxiety inducing). These exes with whom I had bad experiences or unpleasant endings- it makes me feel jealous, not that someone else is going to marry them, but that they get to go through this romantic, exciting time. It's not that I want them to be miserable... (well, not in ever case), it's just that I don't like to think of them being too happy. Petty of me, I know. But it is what it is.
• Saturday and Sunday- 150 iuis Meno.pur, 300 iuis Bra.velle, 5 units Lu.pron. Fun stuff. Repeat tonight and tomorrow, blood and u/s on Wednesday. I don't know what to expect, but just hope that I get some damn eggs.
• Three more Mondays of school after today. I have this great plan to be productive this week... so far, it's not going very well...
  

I had a very relaxing though not especially productive weekend. (So sad that it's over!) It made me think about being a parent. Clearly, I want to have a baby more than just about anything right now. I consciously work not to make a list of all the things I'm missing out on by not being a parent.

However, this weekend I thought about the things we are still able to enjoy while we wait for kiddos.

• Sleeping in on Saturdays and Sundays.
• Dinners out
• Spontaneous plans, with each other or with friends
• Ease of travel plans and vacations
  
• Watching whatever we want on TV
• Time to watch TV, read books, surf the net, lay out in the sunshine, or just be lazy
• Time to make appointments- haircuts, manicures, doctor...
  
• Decorating freedom- no need to baby proof
• Time for projects that I want to accomplish
  
• Time and energy to focus on (and probably spoil) our dogs
• Time and energy (most of the time) to focus on each other
• Time and energy (most of the time) for sex

I'm sure there are more, but that's all I've got for now. :)