tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64906503631144659152011-12-27T21:54:41.467-08:00Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.comBlogger4841100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-71259747666270231072011-11-21T13:09:00.001-08:002011-11-21T13:17:40.610-08:00

I am writing this post from our new town. We made the move I'd been so dreading... it was 3 days at a residence inn, 3 days on the road, and then another 3 days at another residence inn. The dogs were beside themselves and have not yet recovered. G-man was fine. He's three months old- he doesn't really know what's going on. I'm not happy to be here. My MIL is already driving me nuts. We are

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-74166380819650047682011-10-20T11:15:00.001-07:002011-10-20T11:32:51.265-07:00

Sorry that I suck and haven't updated. The pathetic thing is that it's mainly because I've changed my main email to gmail, and so I'm always signed in as that. I have to sign out in order to update here. What a stupid excuse, huh?With infertility, especially dealing with it for as long as we did, you spend so long trying to get pregnant, and trying to stay pregnant and just focusing on being

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-69259022386197022792011-08-29T19:49:00.000-07:002011-10-20T11:33:48.289-07:00

Wednesday (the 17th) I saw my OB. She told me that I was 1.5 cm dilated and over 50% effaced. She speculated that I might have the baby early. I was like “Oh really?” but didn’t really think much of it. I don’t know why, but I never really thought I’d go early. I kind of figured I’d definitely be one of those first time moms who went past 40 weeks.I went home and took a nap, and when I woke

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-79719329432375908622011-08-20T12:28:00.000-07:002011-08-20T12:31:17.346-07:00

...is what I'd be today. But the baby arrived on Thursday! Surprise!!! I never thought I'd go early, but I guess we can't predict! Everyone is doing great, but we're all pooped. He's conked out in his bouncy chair, so I'm going to take a nap. I promise to be back as soon as I can to share the whole story. :)

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-66740205485418809762011-08-14T19:36:00.000-07:002011-08-14T20:01:48.934-07:00

Since early to mid 2nd trimester, I've been participating on an online pregnancy message board that is organized by birth month. There are good things and bad things about those online communities, but in this case I've actually made a few good connections with other women- one who is currently a neighbor of mine, who I have hung out with a few times. Two others live in the city where we will be

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-59347642903898211072011-08-08T05:10:00.000-07:002011-08-08T05:10:00.460-07:00

As I mentioned in a previous post, there's something big going on with us. It's kind of making me miserable, which kind of pisses me off. Why can't I just have a short time when things are easy and perfect???If you've been with me a while, you may have read the background in this post. We did spend last summer in City B, and with the one year anniversary of his transplant coming up, III's dad is

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-13424683815802247042011-08-07T07:27:00.000-07:002011-08-07T07:30:03.812-07:00

Well, to my due date...I'm super excited to meet my little boy, I'm kind of sad at the thought of no longer being pregnant.I have really liked being pregnant. Yes, my hips are killing me and I can't wait to sleep on my stomach again, but I love how connected I feel to him. I love feeling him roll around and hiccup and push out on my belly from the inside (even when it hurts). I like that

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-87693648447947850562011-07-31T20:04:00.000-07:002011-07-31T20:10:24.192-07:00

KB and Sra threw me a baby shower this weekend. I got so many great gifts- lots of gear and cute clothing.My mom came in for the shower, and today we hit the 40% off Carter's sale.Tonight, I washed all the newborn and 0-3 month sized clothing, plus the burp cloths and bibs.Me. I washed and folded baby clothing. For my baby.I continue to have short moments of panic. As I'm putting together the

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-89131950657264211032011-07-25T10:13:00.001-07:002011-07-25T10:34:34.853-07:00

I keep meaning to post. There is a big something going on in our life right now (well, other than the obvious BIG SOMETHING of the baby...), but I guess I'm just not ready to blog about it. I'm feeling very stressed and I guess, if I'm being honest, upset about the whole thing and being pregnant and expecting a baby while it's happening is making it harder.So I guess I'll skip it for now....

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-34509314094984896642011-06-30T06:32:00.000-07:002011-06-30T06:48:43.149-07:00

Sorry I've been MIA. My computer totally died and I had to get a new hard drive. You do not even want to know how many hours I spent on the phone with so-called tech support. Ugh.But I'm back up and running (and, with the exception of my internet favorites, had most of my HD backed up!).There's actually a lot to share, including some (non baby) drama, but lets be positive for today.It is very

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-38789446479729596212011-06-09T12:37:00.000-07:002011-06-09T12:49:17.964-07:00

Let me begin by saying that I'm sure I'd be less irritated if I wasn't teeming with pregnancy hormones. I totally get it.So anyway.When I decided to take this year off, my best friend was thrilled. She's staying home with her kids and was psyched that we'd get to see each other all of the time.Of course, it didn't turn out that way.I definitely see her more than I used to, but considering neither

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-4002529996251386302011-06-01T07:22:00.000-07:002011-06-01T08:04:22.160-07:00

Last night, I crawled into bed with III...naked. He just lay there. I said "Are you too tired?" He looked at the clock and said, "Yeah. I'm too tired." I put my PJs back on, gave him a kiss, and rolled over.And cried for an hour.There hasn't been much action around here for the last four or five months. On top of the normal pregnancy stuff, the increased dose of Prozac I'm on makes my sex drive

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-62405300882934419762011-05-29T12:10:00.000-07:002011-05-29T12:16:40.671-07:00

As our pregnancy progresses, III gets more and more outwardly excited. He has said some really, really cute things.One night in bed, I wanted him to try to feel the baby move. (This was before he had felt him.) He wasn't able to, but he wasn't upset about it. He said "It's so weird- there are three of us in bed right now!"This weekend while baby was jumping around like crazy and we could see it

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-48010825155485924112011-05-15T09:48:00.000-07:002011-05-15T09:51:29.958-07:00

Since I started to feel the baby move, III has gotten more and more excited. I couldn't wait until he could feel it from the outside, but we never could get the timing quite right.Last night, just before we headed out to dinner with his parents, I was laying down as he got ready. Baby started kicking a bit, so I asked III to come sit with me. He put both his hands on my belly and closed his eyes

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-4677555079190351262011-05-08T18:57:00.000-07:002011-05-08T19:23:51.416-07:00

Today I am 23 weeks.KB is planning to throw me a baby shower- not until July, but the planning is in the works. My mom and MIL I know are itching to start shopping. Plus, we're going to have to start getting prepared at some point.So I've started researching. I literally have no idea about all the baby crap that is out there.* I bought the Baby Bargains book which has actually been helpful. KB

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-29743659469621991122011-05-01T09:02:00.001-07:002011-05-01T09:09:40.112-07:00

I am finally feeling some daily movement from the baby. During week 19 I would feel some pokes at bedtime. I wasn't sure if it was the baby or not... I haven't felt any "butterfly flutters" or "goldfish flips" like many describe their first movements.At my 20w ultrasound, the tech told me I have an anterior placenta. Not a problem, but it explains why I wasn't feeling much movement, even into my

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-78509996519941759192011-04-18T16:18:00.001-07:002011-04-18T16:20:01.978-07:00

BOY!!!!Everything looked PERFECT! We are so happy, relieved, and excited!!!!!!!!!!

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-54953318469529112392011-04-18T10:40:00.000-07:002011-04-18T10:58:54.540-07:00

In a little over an hour, I leave for my anatomy scan. I have really mixed feelings coursing through me.I'm nervous. Nervous about all the potential bad things that could be discovered. My ultra fertile, ultra easy-pregnancy, ultra naive sister asked me if I was excited and I told her "Yes, and nervous." She said "Nervous about what?" I said "Bad news." It doesn't even really occur to her that it

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-87966934248182915682011-04-11T07:50:00.000-07:002011-04-11T08:11:16.304-07:00

Emetophobia: an intense, irrational fear or anxiety pertaining to vomitingYep, that would be me. Ever since I was a kid. My sister would get the stomach flu and I'd lock myself in my bedroom. I'm great in emergencies, unless they involve vomiting. Then you can find me on the other side of the room (or preferably, a different room. Or building. Or city.)I am lucky that I rarely vomit. I can count

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-20325219655975669392011-04-07T07:09:00.000-07:002011-04-07T07:34:25.275-07:00

My meeting with my principal went really well. Turns out, he and his wife also dealt with infertility so he was really understanding. We talked about my taking the first half of the school year and returning for 3rd quarter. As he's new, he felt he needed to look into the situation more in terms of what he needed to do from there.It is a weird position to be in- I want to be fair to my school and

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-42546189102237723972011-04-04T07:44:00.000-07:002011-04-04T08:00:40.018-07:00

I've been meaning to post- I have a lot going through my head. But clearly I haven't done it...So I'm 18w1d today. So far everything has been going well. (knock on wood... which is part of my issue! I'm nervous to say "everything has been going well....)I have a little more energy. I have to pee all of the time. When I eat, I get full easily but then am hungry again soon.Other than that, I

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-74609709060639422922011-03-24T07:41:00.000-07:002011-03-24T07:45:46.626-07:00

III and I are on vacation right now... so beautiful and warm!!! But right after we got here, I could hardly enjoy it because I was so PISSED at him!!!!!!!!!He had told me he was going away for training the first week of April. I will be 18 weeks that week, and so was supposed to set up my anatomy scan. Since he was going to be away, I set it up for the following week- April 12. I also had to see

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-42170982133279797922011-03-22T14:43:00.000-07:002011-03-22T14:56:12.916-07:00

KB was out of town for two weeks. Tomorrow, III and I leave for a week's vacation. So she and I had to squeeze in a visit in between our vacations.But KB is always busy. So she squeezed me in. Two hours of shopping this weekend.While at the mall, she insisted we go into Mother.hood Mat.ernity. I have bought some clothes online (since my "real" clothes either don't fit or fit uncomfortably) but

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-81207343580231379702011-03-10T09:13:00.001-08:002011-03-10T09:19:15.332-08:00

First of all, I have to say that you guys are the best. Thanks for all the support on my last post. I know it's hard to want to be pregnant so badly and then hear/read a pregnant woman complaining about her symptoms/issues. But in the moment, no matter how badly you want to be pregnant, it sucks to be throwing up all day every day. It sucks to have to go to work when you are exhausted from

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-87663601343798525652011-03-08T08:37:00.000-08:002011-03-08T09:13:57.133-08:00

I'm finding myself in a weird place in terms of my relationship with the online IF and loss communities.I've been recently following a message board that is women who are pregnant after loss. I have also been a regular reader of LFCA since someone submitted my blog after my first miscarriage. I joined the IF blogging community, as well as the aforementioned message board, in order to share with

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-48254553520771237652011-03-04T14:59:00.000-08:002011-03-04T15:06:38.307-08:00

Continued spotting and ongoing twinges led me to call my OB again who sent me to the high-risk u/s doctor. (Who, by the way, was A MILLION times better than the doctor at the other u/s place I would otherwise go to...)Baby is measuring 14 weeks with a heartbeat of 154. We don't know what is causing the spotting, but the doctor said it could even be leftover from when I had the bleeding at 6w.I

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-46320318275084223902011-03-03T10:52:00.000-08:002011-03-03T11:05:43.266-08:00

I've been meaning to post, but I've been having a rough week.Don't worry. Everything is okay.My anxiety is still been pretty overwhelming. I don't think I even really realized it until yesterday when I met for my psychopharm followup with Dr. F. In her words, I am "still in a lot of distress." I'm not having panic attacks- the klonopin has really helped with that. And when I say that, I mean just

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-70552621259285156042011-02-23T08:01:00.001-08:002011-02-23T08:49:23.149-08:00

So, one of the benefits of not being at school is that I can keep this pregnancy under wraps a bit. I have told 2 friends from school- one who had been through tons of infertility stuff, and another who's sister has been through it and who has recently had some trouble herself.Today, I got an email from another coworker congratulating me. She said she heard it from this totally random coworker in

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-28225396823193554842011-02-22T17:46:00.000-08:002011-02-22T17:52:05.642-08:00

Sorry for not updating! I've been lazy for most of the day and then taught a class this evening.I am officially past 12 weeks. Today the nurse started by looking for baby down near my pubic bone, since that's where she found the heartbeat last week. After I started to have heart palpitations, she reminded me to take a deep breath and relax because that sucker is really little and can be hard to

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-50306425124773110442011-02-21T09:51:00.000-08:002011-02-21T10:01:35.806-08:00

I have been super mopey and cranky the last few days.I feel unattractive (which I've been trying to counter with copious amounts of eyeliner), unproductive, and unlikable. III has seemed kind of cranky too (though his always is in a more understated way) which makes me feel like he's not liking me very much. Of course, it's been over a week since we last had sex, and that usually makes him cranky

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-68110367335133048312011-02-17T08:52:00.001-08:002011-02-17T08:52:58.929-08:00

I saw the nurse at my doctor's office first thing this morning. She was able to find the heartbeat way down low near my pubic bone. It measured around 160. My next appointment is on tuesday. At that point I will be 12 weeks.

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-52887332644642158702011-02-16T10:34:00.000-08:002011-02-16T11:15:24.745-08:00

As my last ultrasound gets further away, I get progressively more anxious. As I mentioned, my OB told me I could come in whenever I needed/wanted to, but even that makes me anxious. I've felt nervous about even calling to talk to the admin staff about making an appointment. Yesterday, I had my consult with the psychopharmacologist, Dr. F. It lasted almost an hour and a half! I really liked

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-20487300082499192652011-02-12T09:06:00.001-08:002011-02-12T09:22:14.599-08:00

Thanks for all of your input on the anxiety, therapy, and exercise. I think I am going to call L- she actually periodically meets clients at my RE's office, so since I'm not working full time I'm going to see if her schedule there works with mine. It's half the drive that it is to her other office. But if not I'm going to go see her, at least a couple of times even if I have to drive the length.I

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-9340065372361084192011-02-09T06:37:00.000-08:002011-02-09T07:52:27.185-08:00

Along with getting a psychopharm consult, my OB wants me to go back to therapy. Probably not a bad idea... and it's not like I don't have the time.Now the question is where to go...She gave me some recs, but you may or may not remember I was in therapy for a while with a therapist (A) I liked for my general anxiety. It was she who recommended trying meds in the first place. III and I also saw a

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-12923161280180484552011-02-07T19:31:00.000-08:002011-02-07T19:42:28.973-08:00

I started crying as soon as the PA came in to take my blood pressure.*So they sent the NP in immediately to do an u/s. First we saw the fetus- we could see the shape of it's head clearly. I sobbed as it took her a full thirty seconds or so to find the heartbeat.But she did.You'd think that would calm me down. But it didn't. I continued to cry for the whole ten minutes I was with the NP and then

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-70607631931896573132011-02-06T16:23:00.000-08:002011-02-06T16:34:55.042-08:00

I'm really nervous to go to my OB tomorrow.Obviously, I'm nervous about getting bad news. How can I not be? But I'm also just nervous about GOING. The last time I was there was a year and a half ago when she couldn't find a heartbeat with her ancient u/s machine. When she had to send me across the street to the creepy u/s doc who confirmed our miscarriage. The last time I saw her was the next day

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-62445878471842192152011-02-06T08:00:00.000-08:002011-02-06T10:40:48.775-08:00

I recently got comments from three different people saying they had named me for an award on their blog! Infertile Farmer and SLESE1014 at Fertility Frustration both awarded me the same award. (Jenny also commented that she had given me an award, but Jenny! I am unable to access your blog from your profile! Let me know where you are!)*The award stated:The rules for accepting the award are:1.

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-85194199916490526732011-02-03T09:43:00.000-08:002011-02-03T10:52:38.638-08:00

In our second spare room (which is my "office", or if you ask III, my "mess") there is a pile. It is a pile of the very few pregnancy/baby things that I acquired in my previous short lived pregnancies. There is a book that I purchased when I was obsessing over symptoms and then some books and a blanket that were given to me by others. I also have 2 pairs of pregnancy pants and 3 bella bands, all

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-54861510076867893282011-02-01T07:06:00.000-08:002011-02-01T07:30:36.961-08:00

I've told my parents very little about what has been going on with us around our infertility and treatments. There are a lot of reasons for that... one being that, for some reason, I've always been kind of private and guarded about what I tell my parents. Maybe because they are such TALKERS. Everything was always a discussion. And my dad just is not always very tactful. And my mom has an

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-21038630468989776592011-01-29T08:15:00.001-08:002011-01-29T08:17:01.775-08:00

I totally sucked at ICLW this month.I didn't not do my daily comments every day.I could give some excuses, but when it comes down to it, I just didn't do it.(I've been terrible about responding to texts on my phone and returning friends' calls too, lately...)So anyway- if you found me from ICLW or are reading after the fact- sorry!

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-43560586361772678202011-01-25T07:20:00.000-08:002011-01-25T07:32:18.157-08:00

I didn't sleep at all last night. I kept waking up, thinking it must be like 4am, but it was only one hour past the last time I woke up. (Which at one point was obviously 4am, but that was only the time preceding 3am... anyway.)I spent the entire drive to the RE (which took twice as long as usual because apparently no one knows how to drive when there is a dusting of snow) having a quiet anxiety

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-58597483649229169052011-01-24T08:17:00.000-08:002011-01-24T08:25:45.825-08:00

22 hours to u/s. I'm nervous. Nothing points to a bad outcome at this point- I haven't had bleeding, I still feel queasy, and I'm exhausted. But past experience is enough to make me so anxious. Luckily, III will be going with me. With the exception of our very last u/s, every bad news u/s I've been on my own. As I shared in a recent comment, I don't know which is worse- hearing the news or having

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-91266770872249108232011-01-21T02:58:00.000-08:002011-01-21T02:58:00.313-08:00

ICLW is here! I'm not a regular participator, but this is my third or fourth time, and I enjoy reading new blogs and "meeting" new readers to mine.I am tentatively pregnant after my fourth IVF. You can read a much more detailed history about my treatments, losses, and surgeries on my TTC history page.Looking forward to the week- hearing from other commenters and reading your blogs. :)

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-48943052757324925672011-01-20T12:33:00.000-08:002011-01-20T12:51:47.237-08:00

According to my retrieval date, I am 7w3d today.As I've mentioned, I've decided it's impossible to NOT obsess over symptoms or lack of particular symptoms.The nausea that I had with my last pregnancy I don't this time. On one hand, that's great. I don't do well with puke. On the other... well, you know. I'm not feeling great, though. I just kind of feel... ick. Queasy I guess. I am tired all the

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-61723791363811382512011-01-14T07:19:00.000-08:002011-01-14T07:22:51.774-08:00

Today's u/s measured 6w1d (based on my retrieval I should be 6w4d but the PA didn't seem concerned about the discrepancy) and had a heartbeat of 107. There was no hematoma this time, so there is no specific explanation for the bleeding... but everything is looking so far so good.We are relieved and pleased, but we have been here twice before. The next u/s is scheduled for 1/25. If we count from

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-21024387661918685742011-01-12T14:24:00.001-08:002011-01-12T14:24:13.939-08:00

I'm having some more bleeding and cramping tonight. I wish i'd been able to have my u/s- at least then we'd know one way or the other....

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-1368617812394910472011-01-11T08:13:00.001-08:002011-01-11T08:17:50.671-08:00

Big storm is predicted for tomorrow, so Dr. Z's assistant called me about changing my appointment. There is an upside- a few days more means that it's less likely to be too early to see a heartbeat. I also have to work at 10, so now I don't have to worry about being late to work. The downsides are a) I have to wait another two days! and b) Dr. Z won't be in on Friday so I'll be seeing the PA. I

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-29889569657795425892011-01-10T15:47:00.000-08:002011-01-10T15:48:19.908-08:00

I think it is nearly impossible for a woman in her first trimester (especially a woman who has worked so hard to become pregnant) not to obsess about pregnancy symptoms (or lack of).In my previous 2 pregnancies, 6w is where I started having some nausea and smell issues. Today, none of that. I am, however, POOPED. I slept for most of the day yesterday. Today I am working at my retail job, and

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-61937983301479548692011-01-09T14:47:00.000-08:002011-01-09T15:01:06.566-08:00

There is a certain type of cramping I've gotten with each pregnancy.It's in the lower middle of my abdomen, kind of towards the front. It is exactly where my lowermost scar is from my myomectomy. It is sharper than most of the other cramping I feel on and off. It only lasts for a little while.By now, I know that when I feel it, I should expect some bleeding within an hour. Today was no

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-49708539656522481592011-01-05T06:13:00.000-08:002011-01-05T06:41:51.164-08:00

Did you know that this week is International Blog Delurking Week?Mel says so.Over the last week, I've received lots of comments, congrats, and support, not only from my regular commenters, but from readers I didn't know I had!!! I definitely want to thank all of you for 'delurking' to support me. :)In honor of Delurking week, please say hi! Even if you have commented before, or are a regular

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-18165653286853817292011-01-03T14:11:00.000-08:002011-01-03T14:26:56.397-08:00

My first u/s will be on the 12th. 6w2d.I am dreading every step of at least the next three weeks. If we get to 8w, (the time at which I had both my miscarriages) I anticipate continuing to fear each and every step.Even if I wasn't a chronic worrier (which I am) or didn't have an anxiety disorder (which I do), I suspect everything we have been through would leave me feeling this way anyway.Today

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-74697246843449924642010-12-31T08:34:00.001-08:002010-12-31T08:34:24.810-08:00

1020 I wouldn't say I'm excited, but I'm relieved. I guess that's par for the course at this point for us...

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-71504031456644510132010-12-28T06:21:00.001-08:002010-12-28T06:21:29.763-08:00

K, the nurse, called me bright and early this morning with my beta results. A very respectable 139. :) Dr. Z likes to have the second beta 3 days after the first, but that's the day we're travelling, so I go in on Friday morning. Thanks for all of your supportive comments!

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-67294224427406124362010-12-27T07:19:00.001-08:002010-12-27T07:48:54.751-08:00

I have an appointment at a lab near my in-law's in just over an hour and a half. K, our NP for this cycle, sent the order as "stat". She told me "here, stat means like half an hour, but there it could mean like 24 hours." So we may not get results until tomorrow. As usual, I don't want to be 'surprised' with a negative result, so this morning I took an hpt.

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-89932722531704333322010-12-25T08:22:00.001-08:002010-12-25T08:22:06.247-08:00

I took an hpt yesterday, at 6dp5dt. It was negative. Commence googling.... plenty of people saying that is too early, several who had positive betas after a 6dp5dt hpt negative. So I went back to my last cycle- positive on 5dp5dt. Of course, my beta four days later was over 400. But this has not helped to ease my pessimistic feelings about this cycle. I brought 3 hpts with us on our trip, so I

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-5185070818202138392010-12-23T02:08:00.001-08:002010-12-23T16:15:37.031-08:00

I was working at the store last night when I saw a familiar face- at about 6:30, Dr. Z walked in! When I had mentioned to him that I had started working there part time he told me that he shopped there sometimes (he makes his own xmas cards!) so maybe I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was! So much so that I accidentally charged some poor woman for a $30 teapot she didn't buy! He of course

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-9215233291918349342010-12-21T14:44:00.000-08:002010-12-21T14:47:06.180-08:00

Just got the letter telling me that none of our three remaining embryos made it to freeze. Fuck. I was naively hoping ALL of them would, so that our next cycle could be a frozen transfer with four potential embryos. :(As you can probably tell, I'm not feeling optimistic about this cycle for some reason. Maybe it's the hormones getting me down. Maybe it's all of our history. Maybe it's a sign... (

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-33397382687997471242010-12-19T08:09:00.003-08:002010-12-19T09:11:09.594-08:00

(First of all, can we please discuss how I typed half of this post out and then my computer froze and I lost it all. Fuck. Second of all, I'm in a mood, so expect at least a moderate amount of swearing in this post...)My transfer was in the morning. Of 12 embryos we had, 6 were normal! Awesome. The doctor who did my transfer was one I had never heard of- doing his turn on the weekend shift I

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-17946218370276719952010-12-13T14:13:00.000-08:002010-12-13T14:21:10.344-08:00

Retrieval went okay today.III had a bit of a tantrum this morning at the clinic. He forgot that he had to give a 'sample'. He thought it was the next visit. Really? You have a medical background- how did you think they were going to inseminate my eggs in five days AFTER all the testing? That is being done because of an inversion that YOU have? He was all irritated and kind of obnoxious to me- I'm

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-70935552601956793392010-12-11T08:09:00.000-08:002010-12-11T08:28:40.385-08:00

My birthday is one week from today.I'm not a huge birthday person. I'm not one of those people who goes around telling people that my birthday is coming up or throws myself parties...But I like that one's birthday is "your day". A day just to celebrate yourself. So I like when my parents call me to wish me a happy one or my husband brings me a gift.This year, though... this year I definitely have

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-41997357978370824782010-12-08T11:37:00.000-08:002010-12-08T11:47:44.294-08:00

Today is CD10. In past cycles, it is around now that I'd have my ER. However, with my last cycle, my E2 levels maxed at close to 7000, which is higher than my doc is comfortable with. So he scaled back my meds this cycle. Things are progressing, just slower than usual. I had thought I'd probably have my ER between Thurs and Sat, but today's u/s and bw (the third for this cycle) put me at only

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-15418953454543919172010-11-27T10:58:00.000-08:002010-11-27T11:03:54.652-08:00

Thanks for all of your comments. Taking it one step at a time is good advice. That this whole process is happening around xmas makes it a little harder...I expect to get my period tomorrow. Based on my previous IVF cycles, I created a spreadsheet to see on what date different important dates would fall: 28-Nov 1 29-Nov 2 30-Nov 3 1-Dec 4 2-Dec 5

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-38809976883105964512010-11-21T16:54:00.000-08:002010-11-21T17:00:35.725-08:00

I am in the beginning of my next IVF cycle.I'm day 3 into the lupron, and am supposed to finish my bcp on Thanksgiving. That will probably bring my period around the 29th which eventually leads to a beta just before Christmas.The time feels like it's dragging.Because, for the first time, I'm really afraid of getting pregnant.Obviously, I want to have a baby. Otherwise WHY would we put ourselves

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-68455509289543456462010-11-01T17:06:00.000-07:002010-11-01T17:07:08.491-07:00

Today was "one of those days." Things just pissed me off and didn't go as planned.Until we met with Dr. Z. (Though, as usual, he was running about half an hour late.) He gave us the ok to jump back into things. We thought the insurance was going to require us to use our one frozen embryo, BUT it turns out they only require use of the frozen before a new fresh cycle if you have two or more!!!

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-26543093036979058272010-10-31T07:09:00.001-07:002010-10-31T07:22:00.908-07:00

There are a lot of really shitty parts about dealing with infertility...But this one, to me, is one of the worst.I am finding it hard to be happy for pregnant people. Not just that, but there is some serious bitch going on inside of my head.My sister is eight and a half weeks pregnant. I was IMing with her yesterday. She had told me weeks ago on the day she got her positive HPT. It is only here

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-44296050266534330482010-10-29T14:43:00.000-07:002010-10-29T14:44:34.931-07:00

With Halloween coming up this weekend, I ordered costumes online for my two dogs.When they got here, I put them on my dogs and, using treats for bribery, took some photos of them.I posted a photo of the two of them on my facebook page. An aunt (who while she may not know the specific details, knows we've had "trouble" ttc) commented: "You have too much time on your hands!"Really? Is that what

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-69811687130720843252010-10-28T18:42:00.001-07:002010-10-31T07:22:00.909-07:00

I feel bad for III.Last night he wanted to. I didn't. He was nice about it... but said he feels like he's getting a bit of a complex because I'm so rarely "in the mood".I used to have a pretty healthy s.ex drive. Lately.... I could take it or leave it. When III wants to, if he initiates I usually can get going fine. But if he doesn't initiate... I'm happy to curl up and go to sleep.Last night as

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-16397895158533583232010-10-23T08:21:00.000-07:002010-10-23T08:39:52.156-07:00

While I had mixed feelings on taking a leave of absence this year from my teaching job, I also felt like I needed it. Part of my plan was to explore some of my other interests. I'm working at a store that sells paper and craft goods part time. It's really fun to be able to use some of my creative talents and see what others are doing. I also plan to volunteer at the local animal shelter. I

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-73540067467621446822010-10-11T08:51:00.000-07:002010-10-31T07:22:00.910-07:00

I'm feeling very bothered this week that we don't have a baby.Bothered seems to be the best word for it right now.I don't know why now any more than usual.Maybe it's because my sister told me she's pregnant with her second. After trying for one month. And she told us and my parents and her in laws when she was a whopping 4 weeks. It bothers me that she gets to be so naive about it.Maybe it's

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-88625016907690543222010-10-05T17:12:00.000-07:002010-10-05T17:23:44.424-07:00

As I mentioned this weekend, III is away for work.There are days when I'm so tired of living with someone else. Times when I get sick of putting up with his schedule and his moods.But I'm lonely without him.T's husband, B, died yesterday.The combination of those things remind me that the annoying stuff and the crappy days are worth it for the good days and the love I feel for and receive from

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-43249021654775629732010-10-02T15:10:00.000-07:002010-10-02T15:18:36.697-07:00

When III and I were just barely engaged, we were on our way to the grocery store when I had a meltdown. I can't remember the specifics, but I do remember telling him "I just feel really vulnerable." He told me "Of course you are. So am I. That's what happens when you love someone."It's one of things I don't like about being married. I feel vulnerable in so many ways. This insurance situation has

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-38937755369933620252010-09-30T10:11:00.000-07:002010-09-30T10:23:18.279-07:00

The whole situation around this insurance stuff, I am mostly mad at myself. I am a super researcher- whenever I'm buying anything over $100, I go online to determine my best options. I can't believe I was so stupid as to not look into this further.I cried and cried about it yesterday, but also felt a little guilty. I know so many infertile couples are much worse of than we are. a) We have had

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-18932174679818646852010-09-29T12:36:00.000-07:002010-09-29T12:43:59.933-07:00

We've been lucky throughout this whole shitty process to live in a state where insurance coverage is mandated.Except when it's not.When I took a leave from my job, III changed his insurance to a family plan so that I would be covered under it. I always knew I liked my insurance better than III's. There were far fewer co-payments and procedure fees, though my choice of doctors was slightly more

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-78245857035316282992010-09-24T15:10:00.000-07:002010-09-24T15:17:33.815-07:00

Yesterday, I was sitting around playing on f.acebook when an old college friend began to chat with me. Or so I initially thought. He told me he was stuck in London and needed money. Oh, right. The sarcastic bitch that I am, I typed back to this 'friend', "That's so strange! I got an email from my aunt last week saying the exact same thing! Is she with you? I didn't know you guys knew each other!"

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-76937823442322584652010-09-23T07:12:00.000-07:002010-09-23T07:35:00.044-07:00

On this day last year......I said good bye to my very best friend. My good girl.The twenty-first was an awful day.The twenty-second was unbearably trying.But the twenty-third...I think about that day often. I can't believe she's been gone for a year. I have been dreaming about her this week and she's very much on my mind. The four years we were together were far too short. I love Peanut, but I

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-91034766901728297742010-09-22T07:07:00.000-07:002010-09-22T07:07:00.173-07:00

On this day last year......I spent much of the day in the hospital, concluding the ending of my first (very wanted, but unfortunately very short lived) pregnancy.In some ways, it doesn't feel like a year ago. In others, it seems so long ago... I often think about what this year would be like if that pregnancy hadn't ended.I hoped it was something I'd never have to experience again. Little did I

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-52500675286067529072010-09-21T06:56:00.000-07:002010-09-21T06:56:00.336-07:00

On this day last year......I went to my first OB appointment. We had already seen a heartbeat, and I was excited to have been released to my "real" doctor.What an awful day. I remember having to make that phone call to III from the u/s office to break the news. I think that was almost worse than hearing the news myself.The memory of that day will never allow me to enjoy the first trimester of a

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-8686574534489975702010-09-20T19:24:00.000-07:002010-09-20T19:28:09.774-07:00

This week is "one year since..." for a number of things for me, starting tomorrow.So I thought I'd post my ICLW welcome early, as there probably will be other things I want to say in the next few days.We were initially diagnosed with unexplained infertility. After 4 IUIs, 2 IVFs and a miscarriage, we had further testing and found out my husband, III, has a chromosomal inversion. (You can read

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-49352232561259247962010-09-13T07:04:00.000-07:002010-09-13T07:12:42.378-07:00

If we had been one of those mythical couples (ha. I, fortunately or unfortunately, know quite a few of those...) who conceived our first month trying, we would have a two year old now.If we had been one of those lucky couples who are a "one and done" with our first IUI, our baby would have just celebrated his first birthday.If IVF had been our silver bullet, and the first one had "taken", we'd be

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-8195950864459416282010-09-07T06:55:00.000-07:002010-09-07T07:00:52.406-07:00

Today is the first day with students in my school system.It is the first day of school in thirty years that I will not be at school.It feels very weird.I didn't realize until my leave was accepted just how much I identify myself as being a teacher.I went to school last week to grab some of the stuff I wanted to make sure survived my absence, and I met the kid who is taking my class.And I mean kid

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-51350390414920278552010-09-03T07:51:00.000-07:002010-09-03T07:59:21.381-07:00

I'm out of sorts this morning. I just missed my workout with my trainer, because I thought it was at 10 and it was at 9:30. Grr.I have really enjoyed working out with this trainer, and I have felt friendly towards her. I even knitted her a baby sweater as a thank you when we thought we'd be leaving in August. I invited her and her husband over tonight for a bbq with some of our other friends. She

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-62493783879360857552010-09-02T20:29:00.000-07:002010-09-03T07:09:49.532-07:00

In 2001, my long term boyfriend broke up with me. My sister got married. I got my master's degree. I lived in an apartment with two roommates. I was in my third year of teaching.In 2002, I discovered I could enjoy being single. I met KB. I moved with one of my roommates to a two bedroom house. We had lots of parties.In 2003, I continued enjoying being single. I bought a condo- it was the first

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-48343795156409078122010-08-28T14:50:00.000-07:002010-08-28T14:54:43.430-07:00

People often talked about how their heart skipped a beat to describe falling in love or being shocked by something.Mine is literally skipping beats.It just started out of the blue on Thursday night. It did it again yesterday afternoon and this afternoon.It is making me nervous, even though I know that, often, arrhythmias are completely benign. In fact, III has one.But that it came on so quickly

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-38549619355580507282010-08-24T07:25:00.000-07:002010-08-24T07:31:56.948-07:00

I'm having some right side pain... I'm wondering if it's ovulation pain. I don't tend to get it, but I don't know what else it could be. (Who am I kidding. I have an anxiety disorder. There are plenty of ideas floating around in my head about what it could be, but I'm trying to be all zen and rational here...)It is completely possible it is ovulation time. It's hard to know for sure, because my

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-90568805061354755952010-08-22T17:14:00.000-07:002010-08-22T17:27:51.361-07:00

I was in Ko.hls the other day, shopping for some clothes. (We sent two boxes of stuff home before we knew we'd be staying, and I'm very short on t-shirts.) As went looking for a slim fitting t-shirt that wasn't too tight or too short, I realized- I feel like I'm in this weird place where I'm too old for Juniors, but too young for Misses. (At least the Misses they sell at Ko.hls.)In the car on the

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-85892831573481079962010-08-21T07:56:00.000-07:002010-08-21T08:05:52.941-07:00

This month marks two years since our first visit with the RE. So I figured it was a good one to participate in ICLW.So if you are new, welcome! To catch you up...We were initially diagnosed with unexplained infertility. After 4 IUIs, 2 IVFs and a miscarriage, we had further testing and found out my husband, III, has a chromosomal inversion. (You can read more about that by clicking the link to

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-26328294417083214052010-08-19T09:53:00.000-07:002010-08-19T10:03:34.424-07:00

Today is 2 weeks since my surgery, and I have healed very well. I'm working out with my trainer and moving around fine. My steri strips came off this week.But.Oh. My. God.The itch.I'm so f-ing itchy!!!! SO ITCHY! Especially around my belly button and the incision above my pubic bone.Nothing helps. The nurse I spoke to suggested just to put lotion on it. That makes it worse. (It's actually a bit

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-16056925839967384292010-08-15T07:38:00.000-07:002010-08-15T07:39:59.558-07:00

III's dad came out of surgery about 1:30am. Because he's had several heart surgeries before, including a bypass where they had already had to crack his chest, getting in and closing up took them longer than it usually does.This morning, assuming he is doing as expected, they plan to take out his breathing tube. Then, they will need to monitor his bleeding from the surgery and his kidney

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-17788526162075692702010-08-14T20:53:00.000-07:002010-08-14T20:58:22.858-07:00

We got the call about FIL's heart at 11 last night.But it wasn't ready. Transplants... so conflicting. You are hoping for the best for your loved one, while someone else is losing their loved one.Anyway. Long story short... 8:30am surgery turned into 11am surgery turned into 1:30pm surgery... they began operating at 3:15pm.I've heard from III a few times. Everything going well... 4-6 hour surgery

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-3850594451267175232010-08-13T21:06:00.001-07:002010-08-14T20:58:43.883-07:00

We just got the call that they think they have a heart for III's dad.If you're a frequent reader, you know that I'm kind of agnostic, and definitely not a prayer... but if you are, please send up some prayers for us that this is the real thing for FIL and that it's successful.

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-43810499943017940932010-08-11T08:07:00.000-07:002010-08-11T08:10:24.578-07:00

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-62602747414668600382010-08-10T11:14:00.001-07:002010-08-10T11:59:26.040-07:00

I'm posting this not just as an update about me, but as info for others who are going to have the procedure and are looking for information.My surgery was scheduled for 7:30am on Thursday. Which meant Wednesday was the bowel prep. Awesome.If you've ever had a colonoscopy*, you'll find this is similar. I had to stick to a clear liquid diet all day. At 9am, I had to take an otc laxative, then as

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-39220322329529310632010-08-06T06:38:00.001-07:002010-08-06T06:39:44.665-07:00

Home from the hospital.All went well. Didn't have to stay over night.I really want to share how everything went, but right now I'm so sleepy and sore, so I think I'm going to head back to bed. Just wanted to update and let everyone know it went well and I'll be back soon with more details.

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-53276547033934066392010-08-04T06:11:00.000-07:002010-08-04T06:17:22.993-07:00

I had my pre-op appt yesterday.First was the ultrasound. They told me to come with a full bladder, but after having been through the whole thing before, and knowing how often doctors run late, I ended up not having a full enough bladder- which didn't matter because she was doing an internal ultrasound too. So I don't know why they needed to do the external. But whatever.My fibroid is anterior (in

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-56597414671120527802010-08-02T13:34:00.000-07:002010-08-02T13:54:26.895-07:00

So I haven't posted a real update in a while, and there has been lots going on at the same time there has been little going on. Does that even make sense?I don't even know where to start, so excuse me if this is a little random and all over the place.We have been staying out at the lake, but it hasn't been as relaxing as we thought it might be. We spent 2 days driving out there, and 2 day

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-56555670574845379092010-07-27T14:16:00.000-07:002010-07-27T14:17:51.129-07:00

"I feel like one of those people who are so freaking miserable that they can't be around normal people. Like I'll infect the happy people." ~Meredith

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-31285496852263431112010-07-25T19:02:00.000-07:002010-07-25T19:05:13.148-07:00

...and I will... but not tonight.I do have a question though... not sure if anyone knows the answer. My googling has been in vain.When dealing with infertility coverage (which I know many people have NONE of) is it better to have a PPO or an HMO? I officially took a leave from work, which means I need to change to III's insurance. He has a PPO, but we have the choice between the two. If you are

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-37362487924886774272010-07-09T09:19:00.000-07:002010-08-04T06:22:58.724-07:00

When you are dealing with infertility, especially over a long period of time, there comes a point when you realize you have to be selfish. You need to avoid baby showers and people who just 'don't get it.' You need to nurture yourself and do whatever you need to do to stay sane.But where is the line?We're visiting my family right now. Different members of my family know different levels of what

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-33094064047167876782010-07-06T19:55:00.001-07:002010-07-06T20:01:29.941-07:00

If I hadn't lost my first pregnancy, I'd have a fourteen week old baby right now. It would make this trip very, very different.If I hadn't lost my second pregnancy, I'd be sixteen weeks pregnant with twins. Also, a very different trip.But I'm not pregnant. I don't have a baby. But I have my dogs, and they are my babies. We leave tomorrow to visit my family and leave them with a dog sitter who I

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6490650363114465915.post-65627134780036706872010-07-02T06:27:00.000-07:002010-07-02T06:38:18.244-07:00

The trip was long but uneventful. Dogs did awesome. I was exhausted, but III did most of the driving, so I don't really have anything to complain about.I'm not really happy to be here. The reality is hitting me that we're probably more or less here for good. And it's not really where I want to be.And honestly? I have no desire to live near my in-laws. Or my family, to be perfectly frank. I wish

Just mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05671919237872985299noreply@blogger.com3